Kyle Hepp

June 27, 2007

I made it back safe and sound. The flight to the US was completely relaxing and not bad at all. It gave me false courage. The way back we had horrible turbulents and I was crying for at least an hour. I did survive, but I have vowed not to fly without my husband again. EVER!

So thanks to all who shared reassuring stories with me, you guys helped calm me enough to actually get me on the plane.

As for the actual non-flying part of the trip, it was amazing! I ate way too much and gained more weight than I thought humanly possible in one week. 8lbs in 7 days, yikes! And of course what you can gain in a week takes at least three to lose, *sigh.* I got to see almost all of my favorite people while in the country. Best friends, relatives, immediate family, you name it, I saw him/her/them.

I also learned a little about myself. I am evolving, and finally capable of being truly happy for others when I see them happy. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been a green eyed Medusa with snakes coming out of my head turning people to stone whenever a friend is achieving something I want. It’s not like that, I’ve always wished my friends well and been enthusiastic for them when good things happen to them. But in the back of my mind, there was always a little voice that said, “Why can’t that be me?” Other people’s good news was usually accompanied by pangs of wistfulness for me. That’s really hard to admit, but its true.

On this trip though, I saw a best friend, J, who is engaged, or about to be engaged. She was positively glowing, as corny as that sounds. Her fiance is a dream, he’s cute, he’s funny, and most importantly, he treats her like a queen. No, seriously, the kid worships the ground she walks on. And I LOVE IT!

I saw another best friend, M, who has recently lost a little weight and is hopefully (*fingers crossed*) in the process of getting a fantastically high paying job. She looks fantastic, and is so very excited about the career possibilities opening up before her. I REALLY want her to succeed!

I have never felt such pure, unadulterated happiness for my friends before. I finally know what its like to be one of those people who has untainted joy when something incredible happens to those around them.

And I think I know the reason why. Its because I’m finally happy. Really and truly and ridiculously happy. I don’t have a job, my husband and I are so broke, I live far away from all my close friends and family and don’t know a lot of people in this country, my inlaws drive me absolutely, one hundred percently, up a wall crazy, and we don’t have cable tv. But I am together with my hubby, and that’s what makes my life golden. We had to go through a lot to get to this point, we were apart for so long (9 months trying to get him a visa to the US that never came through). But we’re together now and he makes me deliriously happy every day.