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Granola Hell

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August 17, 2007

I just ate the world’s hardest granola bar ever. It was like biting into a rock. And that’s not just an analogy that I pulled out of my ass, I really have bitten into a rock before. It hurts. And so did eating this granola bar. I’m pretty sure the workout my jaw just got chewing burned off all the calories I may have consumed in said granola bar.

Anyways, that’s not what I was going to blog about.

Like I’ve talked about before, I have a hard time falling asleep at night. As a result, I usually go to bed hours after my husband. I’m constantly in and out of bed, turning lights on, closing and opening doors and drawers…and the man never budges. I’d like to know how it is possible for a human being to sleep so deeply. Trying to climb over him to get into bed once I STEPPED ON HIS HEAD AND HE DID NOT WAKE UP. I thought I crushed his brain, I actually leaned in close to make sure he was still breathing. I shouted, “S! Are you OK?!?” and he respond, “mmmmmrhp,” which is his happy sleeping moan that let’s me know he’s not even close to being conscious.

I have realized that I am so lucky to be married to him! I’ve knocked over chairs, and ran into doors all while trying my hardest to be “quiet,” and not wake him up. But since it doesn’t matter and nothing I do is going to rise him out of his slumber, I might as well take advantage of that. So now I turn on the overhead light, watch TV or listen to the radio, basically I just go about as if it were daytime and I were living alone.

He’s like Sleeping Beauty, he only wakes up for one thing…

Although it does take a little more than a kiss ;)

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  1. You have just described, to a T, my husband and I. A freight train wouldn’t wake him. I ‘m the freight train. I have even written messages backward on his forehead for him to read the next morning in mirror.

    Comment by Rachel — August 17, 2007 @ 8:28 pm

  2. I could sleep through world war three as long as nothing physically shook me very very very hard. It actually was a great skill when I lived in Stgo. I was right by the ER entrance to la universidad catolica’s hospital so there were numerous ambulances in and out all nights. I think I was the only one in the apartment (there were 4 of us) who got a full night sleep. Also, in college, my roommate used to hold study sessions while I slept.

    Glad you have someone that won’t mind your wanderings. Hope you can get some sleep.

    Comment by clare — August 18, 2007 @ 9:04 pm

  3. i am the sound sleeper in my bedroom. for the record: we are grateful when you accept the “mmmmmrph” as an answer.

    so if just a kiss doesn’t work…what does? hmmm ;)

    Comment by feistyMNgirl — August 20, 2007 @ 5:34 am

  4. Too funny! My husband is the guy who wakes up from any stupor if so much as a cricket chirps in a neighboring town! This came in handy for me when our now-adult kids were babies… and there was no sneakin’ in the house after curfew when they were teenagers! Gotta love him!
    Sharon – Pinks & Blues

    Comment by Pinks & Blues — August 20, 2007 @ 7:07 am

  5. lmao@the last couple of lines. MEN…they do sleep like the dead, but the minute it’s time for some youknowwhat they are WIDE awake!

    I WISH I could sleep that peacefully!!

    Comment by BigLoser — August 20, 2007 @ 11:59 am

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