Fotografo de Bodas, Santiago

September 18, 2007

Today S. and I went to a fonda. It’s kind of like a patriotic Chilean fair. Some of the fondas here in Santiago are mostly for grown-ups…there are millions of tents featuring different alcohols and foods and dancing music. But, S. and I ended up going to a more kiddy oriented one today and it was PACKED. I do not like crowds at all (which is ironic because I live in Santiago, and I swear to you there’s not one non crowded corner in this whole city)…and to be honest I’m not a huge kid person. I should be more specific. I do not really like Chilean kids that I know. I have yet to meet one that is not spoiled out of his/her mind. Little ones under the age of five are pretty much out of control in this country. The Chilean form of discipline seems to be asking the children to behave, rather than telling them. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen little kids at the mall misbehaving completely (running around screaming at a restaurant, hitting a complete stranger in a random store, throwing food products off the aisles and onto the floor in the supermarket)…and the mom will be begging and pleading with the child to behave himself. “Please sweetie pie, I’m begging, pretty please, behave yourself. Honey, mommy will buy you whatever you want, just please pleeeeease stop screaming, I’m begging you.”

I’m not saying I’ve never seen a naughty kid in other countries, but usually in the U.S. when you see a kid screaming in a public place the mom looks either embarrassed, REALLY mad, or totally apologetic. I feel bad for those poor moms that are doing the best they can to get their kid under control. But I have no sympathy for mothers here in Chile that let their children run the show and don’t ever discipline them. My mother in law has actually said to me that many Chileans believe that giving children any kind of discipline stifles their personalities and they believe that when a kid is growing up you should just let him/her be.

Also, I don’t know if this is just my imagination, but I feel like Chilean kids have higher pitched voices than kids in other countries. Or maybe I have been so conditioned against children in this country that their voices have some special high tone that only I can hear…like the way dogs can hear pitches that nobody else can.

So anyways, the fonda that I went to today was chock full of those little screaming kids. And there was different music coming out of like 10 different speakers, plus the god awful smell of animal manure, barbecued meat, and bakery products. We were both so overstimulated, we stayed maybe a half hour and left.

But there were positives throughout the day. Last night S. and I had a long talk about things we both need to do to get our relationship running a little smoother. There are definitely things we both need to work on, but I take solace in the fact that every time we have a good heartfelt discussion we both learn a little something and hopefully take it with us to better our communication in the future. And then today, the walk to the fonda was about 30 minutes both ways and we talked and goofed around and had a good time with each other. I felt like we had cleared the air and were able to put all the crap behind us. It was nice. So thanks to everybody who left a comment yesterday. You guys reminded me that I’m not the only newlywed to go through rough patches, and that helped me keep things in perspective. I appreciate that.

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11 Comments

I've got to weigh in on the kids in the US, too–the ones I see are generally just like the ones you're seeing in Chile, and the parents are usually arrogantly clueless. they don't seem to get that just because they choose to torture themselves by spoiling and indulging their spawn doesn't mean I should have to endure it as well. It's worst in restaurants and cafes, I think. Parents sit there and let the little rugrats run wild and go bother opther patrons. I remember being at a restaurant once when a kid actually came up to my table and stole a roll out of the breadbasket. To the parents' credit, they were mortified, but sheesh people, if you hadn't let your kid get the idea that a restaurant is a playground in the first place he would never have been in the position to steal our roll.It's been too many years since i was in Chile, but I do remember meeting a lot of similarly overindulged children there–perhaps they rival the US in that respect.

Comment by Lisa B. — September 18, 2007 @ 11:29 pm

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Hi there!
Great to hear that you guys had the air cleared yesterady…it is indeed necesarry once in a while. I hope that you soon will have the visa issue sorted out so you can get started working and meet some people and have you own separate life.
XXX Caroline – Dane living in Brussels visiting Santiago for 3 weeks in November ;o) I’ll have to ecperience whose “weird/carzy/cold” chileans myself!

Comment by Anonymous — September 18, 2007 @ 11:57 pm

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Christ….Seem that I can spell in English nor type! My apologies
Un abrazo Caroline

Comment by Anonymous — September 18, 2007 @ 11:59 pm

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I have seen an awful lot of American children that are “asked” to behave. Very frustrating since my kids have to play with them while I try to chat with their brain dead mothers. Their children may be running wild and bullying other children but the moms all have their scrapbooking in order! MIND NUMBING!!
But it must be a bit of a Latin thing as well, though, because when my husband started rebelling, his mom thought it would be best to just let him do whatever he wanted. Maybe he would “slip” out of it unguided. Well he came here instead and now he barely ever sees her. sad. Had she taken a more proactive approach he probably would have been fine in Mexico. I am glad of course, that he rebelled his little a$$ up here so that we could meet and get married. And now we are a happy old couple wondering when Anthony will torture us like Edgard tortured his mom.

Comment by Rachel — September 19, 2007 @ 1:14 am

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You’ve inspired me to do a post about chilean kids but in the meantime wanna quickly say I take issue with your characterization of Chilean kids as a half-truth. I wouldn’t bother if it weren’t for the fact that while some are “intolerable brats”, some Chilean kids are so exceptionally “well-behaved” that it’s surprising. So I’ll write about it.

Comment by Chileno — September 19, 2007 @ 8:36 am

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I have to agree with you on the kid issue. When I go back home it is crazy how many mothers just let them "be" and "do" their own thing. But I have to say that us kids are also hectic too! But I do so more us parents spank or "talk" to a very you-better-listen-your-you-going-to-get-it kinda voice.

Comment by Tiffany — September 19, 2007 @ 9:17 am

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Hey Chileno, I’m glad you seem to have had some good experiences with Chilean kids because I have not met ONE polite wee one in the two and a half years that I’ve lived here. I wish I’d meet some better behaved Chilean kiddies because that might help me not be completely adverse to ever raising kids here.

Caroline, are you going to be traveling throughout South America or just Chile?

Rachel, rebel his little a$$ up here, that cracks me up! Well, I guess that worked out good for you.

Lisa, I totally agree, I’ve seen tons of bad kids in the U.S. too, but like I said, their parents usually feel bad that they’re misbehaving…here if a kid comes up and steals a bread out of your breadbasket at a restaurant (or in my case, a kid came up, grabbed a handful of silverware at our table and threw it on the floor), the parent is just going to laugh and so, oh let kids be kids.

It drives me crazy!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by mamacita chilena — September 19, 2007 @ 12:16 pm

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Hola Chica
I am coming to Santiago for work and then combing the work week with meetings and Spanish classes so I will be in “tu Ciudad” for three entire weeks. Certain that it will be hectic/lot’s of work but really looking forward to coming pack. Have travelled/lived in LA on various occasions, so staying in one place for a longer period is going to be quite interesting. In order to make the most of my trip, I have a lot of networking to do! When is this annoying Fonda thing going to end? Chileans have so much holidays (at least compated to us!)Take Care!
Caroline

Comment by Anonymous — September 20, 2007 @ 1:43 am

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i love your blogs!

Comment by amy boring — September 24, 2007 @ 2:48 pm

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I’ve seen a lot of kids that way in B.A. too. I stood in a grocery store line for a half an hour while a kid screamed the whole time. The mom just kept saying, “Basta,” but it didn’t mean anything.

I feel like parents here have more tolerance than in the U.S. I guess it’s a blessing for the kids, but a torture for stranger.

Comment by stilllifeinbuenosaires — November 15, 2008 @ 8:27 pm

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Funny, I was adopted from Chile when I was 9 and I have to say my parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents all diciplined me, I would not dare to cause trouble lest I get a good wack with a stick, or made to do extra chores. But I was poverty stricken so maybe its the wealthy little brats your talking about, cause I know many many people who were brought up strickly, more than they are here in Australia…

Comment by Valeska — November 24, 2010 @ 7:48 pm

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