Kyle Hepp

October 15, 2007

In case you missed it, people voted to hear the story of My Crazy Chilean Wedding. Part I can be found here, and Part II, here.

So now on to the grand finale. Time frame: Saturday, the day of the wedding.

Since all the guests were staying at our house, we woke up early to chaos. We got out of bed at like 8am and tip-toed our way around the people who were sleeping in mattresses on the floor. We had to be up in order to have sufficient time to write (and print out a translation of) our vows! Yes, we really did leave everything to the last minute. My step dad was already awake cooking breakfast for the whole family. He made cheesy eggs and pancakes. I don’t eat cheese, so I thought it was rather fitting that he made that specific breakfast. That gesture pretty much sums up our entire relationship-always with good intentions, but never seeming to quite hit the mark-and I’m the same way with him.

Anyways, I didn’t get to eat much anyways because it was time for us to head out to get our hair down. Unfortunately the salon was on the opposite side of town (I live in the ghetto, and the salon was in a really upscale neighborhood). S’s friend came to pick us up and drop us off but he didn’t know how to get there. We took the loooongest scenic route ever. We got lost on the way there and ended up arriving like an hour late. I also had an appointment to get my makeup down later on that afternoon so we were on a time frame. But, nobody really cared about my time frame. Getting our hair done took HOURS. I think we were at the salon from something like 11 in the morning until 4 or 5 in the afternoon and I had to cancel the makeup thing. If they hadn’t given us food, I would’ve just walked out with my hair still in a ponytail.

It didn’t matter though; it was nice to relax with my mom and Sarah of Honor. I got the special treatment as the bride and got a head and shoulder massage while my mom and Sarah were getting their up do’s finished. And we happily drank the Bailey’s they offered us while we were there and laughed the day away. Meanwhile, S. was calling me every five minutes trying to coordinate times, who was going in what car with who to get to the ceremony, he was printing out the translations for the vows and calling the wedding planner to organize who was actually going to walk down the aisle when. We hadn’t done the whole rehearsal dinner thing so nobody had any clue what they were supposed to do. Well, we actually did have a rehearsal dinner, but we didn’t actually rehearse anything, we just all went to eat and drink at a nice restaurant

Trying the OCTOPUS!

Anyways, after getting our hair done, Sarah, my mom and I were shuttled back to my dad’s hotel so I could get ready without S. seeing me. My friends Molly, Shana, and Sarah’s mom met up with us as well. We crammed 6 women into a TINY little hotel room (about the size of two bathtubs put together), hanging my dress from the chandelier and just doing the best we could with such a small space. Here I am with my friends and mom, getting ready:

Once I had my makeup, jewelry and dress on I was sure that everything was going to be just fine. I wasn’t nervous at all! A car came to pick up all the girls from the hotel and take them to the ceremony location. The only people left were my mom, my dad and me. We got word that all the guests were waiting outside, so S. was going to call me to give us the go ahead and come once everyone was inside, so nobody would see me ahead of time. The wedding was set to start at 7:30pm. At 7:17pm S. called and I answered the phone cheerily thinking he was going to give me the go ahead. This was not so. S. was in a panic.

His friends had gone to go pick up the priest, and the priest was not there! Nobody in the church knew where he had gone. I told S. to just calm down. If he talked to Sarah, I knew she would say a prayer for us, we’d cut the ceremony time in half, get to the food faster and everyone would be happier But, S’s best man went to the closest church to the one where the priest had deserted us, found a random man of cloth and convinced him to come help us out. I arrived at the place for the ceremony by 7:45pm, which in Chile, 15 minutes late is actually considered early.

The big moment had finally arrived. It was time for me to walk down the aisle. But, first the wedding planner came rushing in to warn us…the stairs were SLIPPERY and somebody had just fallen down them (ha, I wish somebody had caught that on camera!). So that definitely made me nervous, it would be so like me to wipe out and eat dirt on my wedding day! Since my mom and dad were both walking the first part of the way down the aisle, I warned them…if I fell, I was taking them with me. Shakira’s Obtener Un Si began playing and we started walking. We clung to each other for dear life and made it down the stairs without any black eyes or bruised knees.

Arriving at the start of the real aisle, my parents continued on without me. I don’t believe in a father “giving the bride away.” One, because the mom and the dad are equal part parents in most cases, so it’s not far that only the dad gets to do the fun stuff. And two, because why does anybody need to give the bride away? I think she can give herself away. Having the father hand the bride off to the husband is like saying she can’t ever be on her two feet. And I have been on my own two feet for some time, so I wanted to walk down the aisle by myself. I wanted that moment to be only between S. and I and nobody else. Even though I forgot to bring my bouquet and didn’t know what to do with my hands, I felt so beautiful! Here’s his face when he saw me walking towards him.

I reached the alter and S. immediately took my hand, smiling, and whispered, “I love you.” Then the priest introduced himself to me and got on to the ceremony.

Sarah did an excellent job translating…except for the part when there was an awkward pause because the priest mentioned us going back to the U.S. to do a full Catholic ceremony (our best man had to tell this priest we were Catholic and holding the “real” wedding in the States). Sarah just stood there and smiled And the people who understood Spanish looked really confused. Anyways, the priest did his thing, we exchanged teary eyed vows, and the only ceremony mishap was me putting S’s ring on the wrong finger (he switched it after the ceremony). Shakira’s Suerte started up (yes, I’m OBSESSED with Shakira) and we walked down the aisle as husband and wife!

And afterwards, Sarah told me that the whole time during the kiss S’s dad was saying, “Stop. Stop. PLEASE stop.” in Spanish. I thought that was funny, and fitting…he’s not a man who likes to show his feelings

Then we got to the reception and the party started.

Things began with appetizers, and cocktails. S. grabbed an empanada and of course, the first thing he did was get food all over himself We both dug in because we were starving! We hadn’t had much time to eat during the day. Then we all got a glass of champagne for the toasts (that’s a Chilean tradition, to do the champagnazo right away). S’s dad, my mom, S’s best friend, and Sarah all gave fantastic toasts, but Kelsey (my brother for those of you who don’t know), absolutely brought the house down. I swear there was not a dry eye in the room by the time he was done. He did his toast in English but even the people who only spoke Spanish and couldn’t understand him were teary-eyed, that’s how moving it was! I was crying so hard. I had remembered to shel-ac my makeup though, and that stuff is like super glue, so no runny mascara for me. Kelsey was about to cry as well, but right at that moment, they brought the band out. The band started playing typical Chilean music, and everyone clapped along, and my brother just went right to the center of the circle and started doing his own imitation of typical Latin dances-so basically he was just doing the grapevine but with some hip movement action thrown in there for good measure. Everyone was cracking up!

Then Cueca dancers were brought out. They did a fantastic show! Even S. thought it was cool and he hates Cueca. At the end the girl dancer grabbed a guy from the audience and the male dancer grabbed me to do the Cueca with him. But before going out on the floor he gave me extremely explicit instructions about how to clap my hands, stomp my feet, twirl my handkerchief and something about a figure eight, I think. As soon as I started dancing everything he told me flew right out the window. I have ZERO rhythm and I was laughing so hard all I could manage to do was imitate his movements…I later found out that meant I was dancing the man’s part of the Cueca. Ooops!

We stuffed ourselves full of amazing typical Chilean dishes for dinner. I ate so much I had to unzip my dress just to be able to breathe. S. and I had our first dance, then my dad and I had the father-daughter dance and after that the dance floor was open to the public. It was so hilarious to see the gringos trying to dance like the Chileans to Latin music and see the Chileans trying to dance like gringos to the booty shake music! But the open bar fueled rhythm and courage and the party stayed lively all night long. At the end of the night, the only thing left to do was eat cake. We did the typical smoosh cake in your loved one’s face tradition…Although we may have gotten a little carried away. I ended up with cake on my face, my back and in my hair!

Then, without even eating a piece of the cake (besides what we shoved in each other’s mouths) we were whisked off to the San Cristobal Tower, part of the Sheraton’s Luxury Collection and by far one of the nicest hotels in Santiago. We had originally planned, and by planned, I mean didn’t plan anything, to go back to our house with all the guests who were staying with us. But, S’s friends had all chipped in to get us the newlywed’s package at San Cristobal. It was AMAZING. That was the first time, that I ever really thought to myself, you know, it would be SO nice to be rich and be able to enjoy places like this all the time. But, S. and I talked and decided that we probably enjoyed and appreciated the experience much more since we aren’t used to such a glamorous life! Everything was so extravagant and the staff was amazing. When we went to check in at like 3am in the morning after the wedding, they led us in through a special door and the check in lady just said, “S. and Kyle I presume? Mr. Blah Blah will show you to your room, your check in has already been taken care of.” When we arrived at our room, there was a bottle of champagne chilling on ice for us, and a hot bath with rose petals already drawn. We were on the second to highest floor (the top floor is a penthouse, I think) so the view of all of Santiago at night was breathtaking. And I would call the concierge for something and they would answer the phone, “Good morning Kyle, what can we do for you?” I asked for a tooth brush, and literally within 45 seconds of my phone call, a funny guy in a tuxedo was knocking at the door holding up a tooth brush in the air on a big platter, just like butlers that you see in movies…I had no idea those guys really exist! We were the only two on our floor so we had the place to ourselves. Everything was so amazing, and I’m dying to go back but we could never afford it (or I should say, we could, but it would be the biggest waste of money ever to spend a fourth of S’s salary on one night in a hotel). To me, that was one of the best gifts because it was such a luxury that S. and I never would’ve given ourselves. We just aren’t really extravagant people and wouldn’t have thought to book a room at a place like that…but since our friends paid for it, I think we enjoyed it that much more! The hotel was the perfect place to relax and have absolute peace and quiet after a crazy wedding!

If you want to see more photos, our wedding has a special flickr page of it’s own here. And that, my friends, is the story of the best weekend of my life! And if you’re still with me, I congratulate you for having made it this far. Thanks for reading