Kyle Hepp

October 10, 2007

Today I’ll continue with my extended resume for your reading pleasure.

Tour Guide: When I arrived on campus at University of Tampa, the first thing my mom made me do was look for a job. Outside the main building

was a sign that said the Admissions Office was hiring. I applied and was hired on the spot. I guess they were desperate. I was simultaneously the worst and best tour guide ever. The best being in that I LOVE University of Tampa and I knew a lot about the school and the surrounding area. I was enthusiastic and tried to be entertaining too. And I was the worst because I would tell the total truth and the school did not like that one bit. If kids asked if it was a party school, I’d tell them about the shuttle that goes to Ybor (a district in Tampa made up almost solely of bars and clubs). If they asked if it was academically challenging I’d laugh hysterically and ask them if they considered preschool academically challenging. When they said no, I’d say, “Ok, then you’ll be alright at UT.” But I always made sure to be out of earshot of their parents. I quit this job because I wanted to go on a last minute road trip with my friends and they wouldn’t give me time off…which is totally unlike me. I am always really responsible about jobs and giving notice and what not. It was really that there were a million other things building up that made me hate working there.One was that they made us give tours in black pants and long sleeved, thick, black or navy shirts in Florida on 100 degree, humid days. Two, was that my boss was unreasonable. She wouldn’t let us change shifts even if we could find somebody willing, she wouldn’t hear of changing the uniform because black is a “professional color.” She didn’t care that we were suffering outside while she sat in her air conditioned office all day long. She also acted so fake around parents that I couldn’t stand it. She was over the top. Also, all my shifts were at 8 in the morning. Even though I repeatedly asked to be switched to afternoons when I had more time and energy, they kept me in the a.m.
Varsity Assistant Coach: I was hired as the assistant women’s varsity soccer coach at a high school near UT. It was a fantastic job because I loved working with the girls, but it was SO much time and so little money. I was paid a lump sum for the season but when I worked it out, it ended up being something like fifty cents an hour. I was only 20 (or maybe 21, can’t remember) at the time, and most of the girls were 16-18 so right away it was easy to connect with them. But, that doesn’t mean it was easy. During my time there I dealt with some heavy issues — an extremely thin player with a possible eating disorder whose mother with a probable eating disorder weighed her daughter weekly and punished her for gains, a lesbian who came out of the closet, a deaf team captain, a girl who did serious drugs, identitical twins that I could not for the life of me tell apart and a homesick German exchange student who would cry trying to learn English and corner kicks. I also helped out with the middle school team when I could. There was a girl with a giant belly who called herself Budha and made all her teammates rub her stomach before games for good luck. The same kid also would always claim to be the country of Djibouti (pronounced Jah-Booty)every time I made them pick their favorite nation when we played the game World Cup. I loved that girl.
Chilean Olympic Committee Internship: I did an internship with the director of the Chilean Olympic Committee when I was down here studying abroad. She was on the Sports and the Environment committee and the Women in Sports committee so I basically did a ton of event planning for those two causes, as well as lots of translations. The highlight was being a featured speaker during the last day of a week long Women in Sports seminar that I helped organize.
Operations Manager for my dad’s mystery shopping company: My dad, aside from his 8-5 job, started up a small mystery shopping company. It has expanded over the years and brought in enough income for him that he could afford to take me on as an extra employee when I first got back to the U.S. and was in desperate need of a job. I currently am still working for him and in the last two months we got two new accounts, more than doubling our workload. I basically edit mystery shopping reports that the shoppers turn in to me, try and recruit shoppers, coordinate schedules of shoppers (who goes when to what restaurant for us), and do anything else my dad requests of me.
United Soccer Leagues Super-Y Intern: United Soccer Leagues runs tons of soccer leagues in the U.S. (U.S.L. Divisions I and II, the P.D.L. and the W-League, ) Super-Y League is one of the most prestigious (if not the most) youth leagues in the U.S. In fact, to give you an idea of the caliber, one of the Y-League teams was coached by the current Iranian National Team coach, another team’s youth director (Red Bull New York) is Giovanni Savorese, an ex Ecuadorian National Team player and MLS superstar. I interned for the Y-League helping coordinate scheduling, maintaining the website, updating standings and scores of the teams (about 800 in total). The highlight was helping plan and run the Super-20 North American Finals. I got to watch some great soccer, make lots of good contacts and ran around like crazy trying to make sure everything was in order for the players and fans over the course of the 4 day weekend they were there.
Freelance Photographer: In the U.S. I actually did pretty good for myself freelancing as a photographer. I took portraits of graduating seniors, families, babies, etc. Business, unfortunately, has died down now that I’m in Chile.
Celebrity Gossip Ghost Writer/Editor: About 4 months ago I was hired to write 3 stories a day for a huge celebrity gossip blog. I got promoted and now I’m a stand in editor for when my boss is out, I do the weekly newsletter and ad sales as well. This is such a fun job! I love it…making fun of celebrities never gets old

I might be forgetting some jobs, but they’re obviously not important if they didn’t make the list. If you’re wondering why I’ve had so many jobs, there are a few reasons. I don’t come from a wealthy family, at all. I’ve always had to pay for my own car, my clothes, split the cost of cheerleading camp with my mom etc. So not having to say no to the $40 dollar soccer hoodie that the rest of my soccer team was getting was always sort of the motivator for me to have a source of income. I did tons of extracurriculars in high school, and while my mom funded the basics (marching band shoes, soccer cleats, cheerleading shoes, a flute)…any extras were on my own dime (spending money for the band trip to the Silverdome, Adidas soccer shorts, gymnastics classes to help me be the best cheerleader I could be, the team sweatshirts for cheerleading and soccer, etc). Also, I have had that mass quantity of jobs because more often than not I’ve had two jobs at once (I worked at Menard’s and hostessed at the same time, I waitressed while I coached soccer, I worked for my dad’s company during my internship with USL and also now while I’m also working as a celebrity blogger). The problem is that the jobs I wanted (all sports related things) never paid the salaries I needed to get by.