Kyle Hepp

November 28, 2007

It’s so weird how in Chile they have a whole bunch of things that are considered “American,” that I’ve never seen or heard of before. Aside from the stereotypes that Chileans have that come from the imported movies they see about U.S. culture, they have things called Cocina Americana (American Kitchen), Cama Americana (American Bed), Salsa Americana (American Sauce), Crema Americana (American Cream) etc. If you’re living here in Chile and think of more “cosas americanas” feel free to add them in the comments. There are a lot of other examples, I just can’t think of them at the moment.

I think it’s so funny! I mean, salsa Americana is disgusting, and I had never tried anything like that in my life before coming here. Their idea of a cama Americana is two matresses on top of each other without the bed frame. A Chilean bed normally just has one mattress in a frame. When I told S’s family that beds in the U.S. are normally two mattresses in a frame as well, they were really shocked. They were totally convinced that if something is called “Americana” here than it must be exactly like what we use in the U.S. A cocina americana makes the most sense to me. It’s a kitchen with a bar. A lot of homes in the U.S. do have that style of kitchen, although I’ve also lived in a few that didn’t. But the typical Chilean kitchen is long, skinny, and enclosed so the difference is huge, and I’d take a cocina americana anyday (in fact, it’s one of my requirements for an apartment). And as for crema americana, it’s a flavor of ice cream. I tried it and I wasn’t sure what it tasted like. It was familiar to me but at the same time it wasn’t an everday flavor.

Anyways, the point of this post isn’t what things are considered American, but rather how we are perceived. It’s so odd to be here and realize that sometimes Chileans hit the nail right on the head with their idea of our culture (talk loud, trust in our fellow citizens, fat and obsessed with Disney World-kidding!) and other times they are pretty far off base (we all support George Bush and the war, we’re all ridiculously rich and just rolling in money, and we all love salsa Americana).

Seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes is an interesting experience. Jayna’s whole blog is actually about how the U.S. is perceived in other countries and it’s really well written, so if you get the chance, check her out.

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November 23, 2007

Originally from The Adams Family, jacked from a guy who jacked it from a friend….Wednesday Adams as a Native American in a school play about pilgrims:

“Wait! We cannot break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf, and eat hot hors d’oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller. And for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.”

And even though it’s not Thanksgiving related, I’ll leave with another gem from the same movie. If you don’t think these quotes are funny, I’m not sure we can be friends anymore

Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they’re real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

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November 20, 2007

I’m a bad blogger! Lately every spare second I’ve had has been dedicated to looking for an apartment for us to rent. Yes, we’re leaaaaaaaaaaving!!!! Now, it’s just a matter of finding the right place, but so far everything we’ve look at has been, too far from transportation, too small, too old, too expensive…too something. Today I went to look at an apartment and I LOVED it. Then we called to rent it and the guy said that somebody who had looked at it yesterday had just called and was probably going to sign a lease on Thursday. I’m really disappointed because I thought that was the one. So the search is still on…

*updated, I’m a seriously bad blogger. I started this entry two days ago and just finished it now.

I’ve been riding all over Santiago on the metro, which is my favorite form of transportation. It provides me with endless sources of entertainment. I love embaressing guys who stare for too long by saying something to them loud enough for everyone to overhear. The time when a guy grabbed my hand because he thought I was his girlfriend was great (in his defense, it was really crowded and his girlfriend and I were hanging on to to the same handle). I also REALLY enjoy watching people get stuck in the doors! One time the doors closed on a guy’s mullet and he had to ride with LONG part of his Shlong flying on the touside. SO funny!!!

But in the past two weeks two kind of scary things have happened while I was in the metro. On Monday, a girl fainted. It was just like Rebecca in America’s Next Top Model. Seriously, watch this video even if you don’t like the show.

The girl was standing in the same metro car as me, and it wasn’t very crowded, but it was really hot. I wasn’t staring at her so I didn’t see if her eyes actually rolled back in her head like Rebecca’s, but I did see her fall and watched her head smack against the back metro doors. The train was stopped at the station for about 5extra minutes and even though people could see that somebody had been injured some started whining about why it was taking so long to leave. Finally after the metro emergency people determined it was safe to move the girl after she regained conciousness, they carried her out of the car. I was a little surprise that people were much more concerned with getting home 5 minutes sooner than with a girl cracking her head.

And then about two weeks ago, my friend and I were getting off at a station called Baquedano. On the platform where you wait for the metro to arrive I could hear shouts. But the crowd was just streaming around off to one side and ignoring whatever was going on so I didn’t think it was a big deal. When I walked up to where the ruckus was coming from I saw the flash of something shiny. Ummm, ok, stop. IT WAS A KNIFE FIGHT!!!!

It was so weird. Things like that NEVER happen in the metro. In a micro (bus) I’d believe you, but the metro is like the pride and joy of Chile, and they love it because it’s much safer than riding a bus.

I wasn’t about to walk past these two jokers with weapons so I turned around to go out the in and skedaddled away as fast as I could. The Chileans who were walking by as if it were nothing really surprised me. I mean, the metro platform is not that big so there was probably all of two feet of space separating them from weapon wielding delincuentes. Nobody seemed to think it was a big deal at all. Except me, of course. My heart was pounding after that brush with death!

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