Kyle Hepp

November 28, 2007

It’s so weird how in Chile they have a whole bunch of things that are considered “American,” that I’ve never seen or heard of before. Aside from the stereotypes that Chileans have that come from the imported movies they see about U.S. culture, they have things called Cocina Americana (American Kitchen), Cama Americana (American Bed), Salsa Americana (American Sauce), Crema Americana (American Cream) etc. If you’re living here in Chile and think of more “cosas americanas” feel free to add them in the comments. There are a lot of other examples, I just can’t think of them at the moment.

I think it’s so funny! I mean, salsa Americana is disgusting, and I had never tried anything like that in my life before coming here. Their idea of a cama Americana is two matresses on top of each other without the bed frame. A Chilean bed normally just has one mattress in a frame. When I told S’s family that beds in the U.S. are normally two mattresses in a frame as well, they were really shocked. They were totally convinced that if something is called “Americana” here than it must be exactly like what we use in the U.S. A cocina americana makes the most sense to me. It’s a kitchen with a bar. A lot of homes in the U.S. do have that style of kitchen, although I’ve also lived in a few that didn’t. But the typical Chilean kitchen is long, skinny, and enclosed so the difference is huge, and I’d take a cocina americana anyday (in fact, it’s one of my requirements for an apartment). And as for crema americana, it’s a flavor of ice cream. I tried it and I wasn’t sure what it tasted like. It was familiar to me but at the same time it wasn’t an everday flavor.

Anyways, the point of this post isn’t what things are considered American, but rather how we are perceived. It’s so odd to be here and realize that sometimes Chileans hit the nail right on the head with their idea of our culture (talk loud, trust in our fellow citizens, fat and obsessed with Disney World-kidding!) and other times they are pretty far off base (we all support George Bush and the war, we’re all ridiculously rich and just rolling in money, and we all love salsa Americana).

Seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes is an interesting experience. Jayna’s whole blog is actually about how the U.S. is perceived in other countries and it’s really well written, so if you get the chance, check her out.

28 Comments

November 23, 2007

Originally from The Adams Family, jacked from a guy who jacked it from a friend….Wednesday Adams as a Native American in a school play about pilgrims:

“Wait! We cannot break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf, and eat hot hors d’oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller. And for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.”

And even though it’s not Thanksgiving related, I’ll leave with another gem from the same movie. If you don’t think these quotes are funny, I’m not sure we can be friends anymore

Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they’re real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

7 Comments

November 20, 2007

I’m a bad blogger! Lately every spare second I’ve had has been dedicated to looking for an apartment for us to rent. Yes, we’re leaaaaaaaaaaving!!!! Now, it’s just a matter of finding the right place, but so far everything we’ve look at has been, too far from transportation, too small, too old, too expensive…too something. Today I went to look at an apartment and I LOVED it. Then we called to rent it and the guy said that somebody who had looked at it yesterday had just called and was probably going to sign a lease on Thursday. I’m really disappointed because I thought that was the one. So the search is still on…

*updated, I’m a seriously bad blogger. I started this entry two days ago and just finished it now.

I’ve been riding all over Santiago on the metro, which is my favorite form of transportation. It provides me with endless sources of entertainment. I love embaressing guys who stare for too long by saying something to them loud enough for everyone to overhear. The time when a guy grabbed my hand because he thought I was his girlfriend was great (in his defense, it was really crowded and his girlfriend and I were hanging on to to the same handle). I also REALLY enjoy watching people get stuck in the doors! One time the doors closed on a guy’s mullet and he had to ride with LONG part of his Shlong flying on the touside. SO funny!!!

But in the past two weeks two kind of scary things have happened while I was in the metro. On Monday, a girl fainted. It was just like Rebecca in America’s Next Top Model. Seriously, watch this video even if you don’t like the show.

The girl was standing in the same metro car as me, and it wasn’t very crowded, but it was really hot. I wasn’t staring at her so I didn’t see if her eyes actually rolled back in her head like Rebecca’s, but I did see her fall and watched her head smack against the back metro doors. The train was stopped at the station for about 5extra minutes and even though people could see that somebody had been injured some started whining about why it was taking so long to leave. Finally after the metro emergency people determined it was safe to move the girl after she regained conciousness, they carried her out of the car. I was a little surprise that people were much more concerned with getting home 5 minutes sooner than with a girl cracking her head.

And then about two weeks ago, my friend and I were getting off at a station called Baquedano. On the platform where you wait for the metro to arrive I could hear shouts. But the crowd was just streaming around off to one side and ignoring whatever was going on so I didn’t think it was a big deal. When I walked up to where the ruckus was coming from I saw the flash of something shiny. Ummm, ok, stop. IT WAS A KNIFE FIGHT!!!!

It was so weird. Things like that NEVER happen in the metro. In a micro (bus) I’d believe you, but the metro is like the pride and joy of Chile, and they love it because it’s much safer than riding a bus.

I wasn’t about to walk past these two jokers with weapons so I turned around to go out the in and skedaddled away as fast as I could. The Chileans who were walking by as if it were nothing really surprised me. I mean, the metro platform is not that big so there was probably all of two feet of space separating them from weapon wielding delincuentes. Nobody seemed to think it was a big deal at all. Except me, of course. My heart was pounding after that brush with death!

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November 16, 2007

Yesterday, I saw a woman of Asian heritage walking down the street. Wait, I should actually be more specific, I heard her long before I saw her. She was singing at the top of her lungs. I’m not even sure I know what language she was singing in, at first I thought it was an Asian language but then I might have heard some Spanish thrown in their too and at one point I’m pretty sure she also said something about “my mother, oh my mother.” So this multi-lingual tunester was just walking down the street, singing loudly, dressed in a mumu and pointy shoes that looked like slippers. Her hair was up in a bun but there were big chunks of it that wouldn’t stay put and they were looooooong, like down past her butt long. So I’m thinking she’s crazy, obviously not because of the long hair, but because of the singing. But, I’m thinking she’s crazy in a good way because her singing was sort of making me happy and it was obviously making her happy too as she was grinning from ear to ear. Then, she walks out into the middle of the road and crosses without looking (or stopping singing) and almost gets hit by a car. Now, I’m looking at her a little nervously. The first street she walked out onto was not a busy one. But I’m still walking behind her and she’s headed straight for Alameda, the busiest street in all of Chile. It’s like a highway that goes straight down the middle of the city. She WALKED OUT onto Alameda with oncoming traffic going straight at her. I could not believe it. Cars were screeching to a halt as they slammed on their breaks, a bus almost a hit a car that came to a sudden stop trying not to hit her, people were swerving all over the place to go around her and she wasn’t even looking! I looked around to see if anybody else was noticing this crazy lady with an obvious death wish, but nobody was paying attention. Chileans are fantastic at minding their own business, unless of course, you’re blond. Anyways, she made it across the street. Well, I actually didn’t see her cross the whole thing because it’s like once you cross 3 or 4 lanes of traffic that goes one way, there’s a bike path down the middle before you get to the 3 lanes that go the other way. So I just saw her get to the bike path. I think she knew that I was shocked and amazed by her behaviour because when she got to solid ground she actually looked over her shoulder and smiled in my general direction, as if to say, “Don’t be such a worrywart!”

So from now on, that’s how I’m going to cross the street. Pedestrian right of way, what WHAT! And I’m going to sing while doing it. If I don’t sing, I have a feeling I’ll die.

Oh yeah, and on The Skinny In Chile, I changed the settings so that anyone can post, not just those with a blogger account. My bad, Jayna! I swear, I don’t discriminate against people who live in India.

12 Comments

November 14, 2007

After months and months of trying to get something photography related going I honestly just gave up. Knowing that there just isn’t a market here meant I would be relegated to having a really expensive hobby and would just leave it at that. So for the last two months I stopped trying to advertise my services or find models to let me shoot them for practice, I really just gave up.

And of course, that’s when things start to happen. Now that I haven’t been putting zero effort into photography 3 things fall into my lap, all at once.

The first, I was contacted by a girl who wants me to possibly do a commercial shoot with models wearing jewelry for her mom’s jewelry design company. She had just seen a few of my photos through Seba’s sister and emailed me for prices. I gave her prices and sent her a link to my Flickr so we’ll see if she likes what she sees and likes what I charge.

The second thing, a girl I knew from high school saw some of my pictures on Facebook and wants to buy some prints. Of course, I said she didn’t need to buy them, that I would just give them to her, but she likes supporting local/friend artists so she’s willing to pay. So I’m going to sell her some prints at a discounted price and I’m so excited that somebody actually wants my work hanging as “art” on their walls. And I say “art,” in quotations marks because if it was really non-quotated art that would make me an artist. And I certainly don’t feel like I am.

And third, on the same day as these first two events, a friend of Seba’s asked me to shoot her wedding! It’s not for another year, but she wanted to check with me now to make sure I’ll be able to do it.

I have been DYING to get into the wedding photography business and this is the perfect chance. I know her so I’ll be comfortable at her wedding and won’t be too nervous, and she’s going to have a gorgeous beach wedding so I should get some great shots for my portfolio, plus she’s sure to be happy with the shots I take since natural outside light is a thousand times better than indoor light.

So those were three wonderful things that happened all in one day. Just when I gave up hope it seems the signs are there again, telling me to press on with my photography.

And, as always, don’t forget to read The Skinny In Chile!

6 Comments