Fotografo de Bodas, Santiago

January 15, 2008

I’m sitting right here now, typing this, thinking that I may not post it. Why? Because I’m embarrassed that such a horrible thing almost happened to me. Because I still have a knot in my stomach, the fear is fresh. Because I don’t want to worry my mom or my friends. But in the end I will probably publish this because sharing a worry or fear with other people always seems to lighten my load somehow.

Today I was out running up the big hill. I’ve been doing this hill, or mountain as some of you called it after seeing the picture (hill sounds too small but mountain sounds too big. I’d say let’s call it a hiltain but I’m in no mood to be funny) for a few weeks now. Several people commented to me to make sure I was never out when it started getting dark as the hill with all it’s twists and turns can be pretty dangerous. That was just enough information to make me extra alert, as if I’m not already paranoid enough after getting mugged. So when I run, I wear my ipod but almost never actual listen to it because I want to be able to hear if people are coming up on me. The road up the hill is winding and it would be extremely easy for somebody to wait around a sharp bend or in the thick foliage and trees and greet an unsuspecting runner with an unhappy surprise. There are long stretches when you don’t pass other runners or cyclists, making someone like me an easy (and in this country, obvious) solitary prey. So even on the rare occasions that I chose to listen to music, I would do it at a low volume, always using only one earphone. I also carry pepper spray in one hand with my thumb under the trigger at all times.

Today was no exception. I was armed, prepared and alert. I had already made my way up and was walking down and then breaking into a jog whenever I saw anybody. I had a side cramp, but I always like to run when I see people even if they look totally harmless. I feel like running severely lowers your chances of being attached because you look more athletic and like a more difficult victim. (And yes, these are the kinds of things I think about constantly. I am PARANOID). I was walking down a hill, and as I came around the bend I noticed somebody standing off to the side of the road. He wasn’t exactly in the bushes, but he was trying to be inconspicuous and I could feel him watching me. He gave off completely malicious vibes. I had pits in my stomach, the knot that comes when something really bad is going to happen. He was watching me and I was watching him out of the corner of my eye. I sped to a jog, actually more like a run and tried to cross over to the other side of the street but he jumped out in front of me and said something truly vile. He growled, “Le dejaria bien culiada.” (I’d fuck you good). The second he had blocked my path I instinctively wielded my pepper spray out in front of my, held at eye level. He obviously didn’t know what it was because he didn’t try to shield himself. I moved left to try and get around and so did he.

I started screaming. Every single cuss word in my vocabulary came pouring out of my mouth in high pitched panic tones.

“FLAITE CULIADO, HIJO DE PUTA, CONCHA TU MADRE, ORDINARIO DE MIERDA!!!!” A little further down the path I noticed there was another runner, about to turn the next bend.

“Oye, esperame por favor!” I yelled out, please wait for me! He stopped, the guy blocking my path turned to look at him. I ran around him and he didn’t move. He was clearly caught off guard by how loud I was and I don’t think he had noticed there was another runner anywhere near. Truth be told, neither had I. I sprinted down to the runner now waiting for me. He asked if I was ok, I said yes. I wanted to cry but I held back the tears. He said “Ok, then we need to run faster. There are two of them and one of me.” I hadn’t noticed that my wannabe attacker had a friend but I glanced over my shoulder and noticed the runner was right. There were two of them standing menacingly higher up the hill watching us as we ran down. We sprinted the rest of the way down the hill, my lungs were burning and so were the runner’s, I could tell by how hard he was breathing. It was probably about a mile to the base of the hill. At the bottom, I thanked him and he didn’t say a word, just nodded and ran off down the street. It was obvious that he was not happy I had involved him. Chileans are not famous for putting their asses on the line for other people. But in the end, what counts is that he waited for me. I can’t fault him for being upset that a stranger had asked him to risk getting the shit kicked out of him to help her.

That man wanted to rape me. He had malice in his eyes. He had crazy in his eyes. He might have just raped me. Or he might have raped me and killed me. I don’t know, and I’m so thankful that I didn’t have to find out.

I know saying that probably sounds over dramatic. But that man was evil, I heard it in his voice and I saw the evil glint in his eyes.

From the base of the hill, I ran to Alameda, the largest street in all of Chile. Funny how just yesterday Alameda was the enemy and today it was the biggest relief to be walking down it surrounded by people. I felt certain that I could see the man everywhere even though I know he didn’t follow me. But I was still chilled with absolute horror from the disgusting way he looked at me. Hours later I am still jumpy and shaky and my heart will just start pounding for no reason.

I arrived home, looking over my shoulder every minute of the way, with my pepper spray clutched as tightly as if it were a lifeboat and the Titanic were going down. I pounded on the apartment door because my hands were trembling so much that I couldn’t undo my key from my shoelaces. S. opened up, I practically collapsed onto him and started sobbing.

I think I’m going to join the gym across the street. Right now I’m petrified just sitting in my own apartment. I can’t fathom a day in which I will feel ok to run by myself again. Honestly, who knows if I’ll go up the hill again even with my male running buddy. I feel like a little kid who’s afraid of the boogeyman. Only what might pop out from under the bed or in the closet and get me and hurt me, is real.

If you’re reading this and living in Santiago, or thinking about living here, don’t let these kinds of incidents stop you. But don’t come here like me, fooled by all the stories about how Santiago is the safest city in Latin America and has a lower murder rate than many cities in the U.S. Don’t let the modern facades of shiny new buildings lull you into false sense of security, making you feel like you’re at home. It’s fucking dangerous and you would be foolish to think otherwise. Let my naivety be a lesson.

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38 Comments

Shit mate! Thats an awful story. So fucking scary and something no woman should ever have to encounter. You may think youÂ´re paranoid, but your paranoia doesnÂ´t stop you from doing things so IÂ´d call it more aware and prepared. It sounded like you reacted the best way you could and it worked, you were lucky, but also smart. But maybe it is best not to return to the hilltain, isnÂ´t there somewhere more populated you can run? Or maybe there is an hour where more people run there?
xx

Comment by Kristy — January 16, 2008 @ 1:29 am

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Lone female joggers have it the worst if not getting raped they’re being eaten by mountain lions. Join the gym. I did that when I lived in Santiago, to avoid chocking on the smog – it’s really, really unhealthy to run outdoors. I researched the smog and there’s a particulate substance they measure that 10 microns diameter, but there’s ALSO a 2.5 micron particle that penetrates deep, deep, down into the lung tissue and has a much higher potential of causing cancer.

BTW: Lung cancer has a 15% survival rate past the first 5 years.

Go to the gym. Sure I had natural resistance to the treadmill but at the end of the day it’s better exercise because you keep a consistent pace and time yourself for 20 minutes minimum (that’s the point when fat starts to peel off your muscle).

A couple questions/observations:

- why didn’t you spray the mace? I’m sure you’re replaying the scene in your head a million times and wishing you had so don’t feel bad. But I’m honestly curious: maybe you were using the threat of mace as a deterrent? Seems like the concept of women’s self defense hasn’t saturated the third world yet. Next time, a quick squirt might help spread the gospel.

Secondly, I’m sorry but your hero is a complete weon. If I’d just saved your life and I didn’t know you I would have totally gotten your number.

Anyway, I’m really sorry that happened to you and that you are terrorized. My condolences.

In fact, probably something you could use a few therapy sessions for. Your blog is no substitute because you let assholes like me comment on it.

That said, I’m probably better than a Chilean psychologist, I heard the psychology being taught in Chile is extremely dated, in fact about 50 years behind the US. At least my brand of Chileno Therapy is current, if self-taught.

Comment by Chileno — January 16, 2008 @ 4:31 am

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Wow, just reading that made my heart pound. I also think you should have sprayed the mace and then kicked the guy in the cohones before sprinting away. Screaming obscenities was also a good idea, though. In the end you got away, and that’s what counts.

I also think you should join the gym. If you still want to run outdoors sometimes, perhaps you could find a running buddy there. Or perhaps you could start some sort of running club and always be able to find someone to run with.

Or, and this is my favorite option, get a dog and teach it to run with you! I know it’s probably not an option for you but as a certified “dog person” I just had to toss the idea out there

Comment by Lisa B. — January 16, 2008 @ 6:06 am

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Wow, I’m so glad that you’re ok! Good move on carrying the pepper spray and on being alert about that other runner! I’ve totally done that “sprint-at-mach-10-even-though-my-lungs
-are-gonna-bust-because-I’m-scared” thing before. You never know. Now, go join the gym and call your mother!

Comment by mexpat — January 16, 2008 @ 7:21 am

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oh. my. word. soooo glad you’re safe, kyle. sounds like you did good…amazingly good, i’d say. such a scary experience. especially discovering he had a buddy up there.

whatever the case, good work, kyle. glad to hear you’re ok.

Comment by rik — January 16, 2008 @ 7:58 am

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OMG, that is one scary story. I don’t know if I’d been able to even start yelling out at him… I’d probably be petrefied.

That’s one of the reasons I never got into jogging when living in Mexico… blonds simply attract too much attention… It’s stupid but I was always afraid of that exact situation.

I agree with the general vote here: join the gym across the street… or ask S to run with you but DEFINETLY be careful!

Stay strong, keep that pepper spray near you and don’t loose faith in the humain race!

Fned.

Comment by Fned — January 16, 2008 @ 8:19 am

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I too agree that you should join the gym. But I also want to say a few other things.

Firstly, I’m glad you are ok. Second, you didn’t do anything wrong and you are so not naive.

You were obviously aware that something like this could happen and you were well prepared for it. You should pat yourself on the back for being the strong bitch I think you are (bitch meaning bitch in the loving way) and that you are able to sit at your laptop and tell us what happened.

You weren’t running around without a care in the world and the inability to know what’s going on in your surroundings.

Can you imagine what might have happened, if you were blasting your headphones, singing to yourself, with your head to the pavement and blissfully running without a care in the world?

You were prepared for this, and you got away and in my eyes you only did so because you knew there was a slight chance something might happen. And it did. But you got away. YOU GOT AWAY!!!!!!

I think people should be able to workout without feeling scared. So join the gym and feel proud that you had the smarts to know when to get away. And that you also have the smarts to join up at the gym.

Is there anywhere people can post community announcements? Like maybe notify the media that that area is not a safe place to be alone? You should look into it. Even if it’s just a Chilean forum or something. Get the word out and warn people.

Comment by Mexico Way — January 16, 2008 @ 10:34 am

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That really sucks, sorry to hear it…but…you’re ok and life’s too short to worry about what might have happened with ifs and buts. I was mugged at gunpoint in Quito a few years back and know what it’s like to feel that threatened but you just have to get on with things. Don’t let a couple of wankers change the way you live your life. Although i have to agree with chileno-running in Santiago is probably more hazardous to your health than those dickheads on the hill…feel better soon.

Comment by Matt — January 16, 2008 @ 11:00 am

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You made me cry on my lunch hour. I’m so glad you are O.K. You don’t know how much I treasure you. You did the right things and you got away. That dude sounds evil, like the devil incarnate. Don’t lose your faith in humanity, but please just run up and down your apartment stairs from now on (are stairwells safe?), O.K?

XXOO

Comment by Mamacita americana — January 16, 2008 @ 11:11 am

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1. I think that qualifies as a mountain. Holy crap

2. I am so, so glad that guy waited for you and that you are safe.

Comment by Jenica — January 16, 2008 @ 1:25 pm

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Oh…I am so angry!! Why do there have to be people in the world that would even DO something like that?!?! Especially since you are trying to do something good for yourself? WEll…I say GO to the gym where it’s safer for you, and I’ll bet you meet someone to buddy up with that would love to run with you…OR you could start your own class of runners!

And take care of yourself and keep being safe…I am so glad you carry spray with you…although, I would use it next time!

Comment by Chickenbells — January 16, 2008 @ 2:04 pm

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that is my biggest running fear. i’m so sorry that you had the confrontation.

remember: no matter where you are, most people are good. (as demonstrated by your fellow runner-savior)

for now, perhaps joining a gym may be what your sanity needs…

Comment by feistyMNgirl — January 16, 2008 @ 2:09 pm

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So glad to hear this turned out well – my heart was pounding, just from reading it! (no funny Bag Lady comment today) Thank the powers-that-be that the other runner was there, and, even if he was not happy about the situation, he should definitely be in your prayers tonight! Good for you for being aware of the dangers, and it sounds to me as though you handled things very well. You weren’t hurt, which is the most important thing. The gym sounds like a good idea, though.
One more thing – do NOT let this turn you into a quivering mass of wimpiness!! You were strong, you were prepared, you would have used the pepper spray if you had to, and you weren’t hurt. Focus on those things.
You rock, girl!!

Comment by the Bag Lady — January 16, 2008 @ 4:35 pm

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I’m so sorry, mamacita, and so glad you’re OK! And I hope S was able to make you feel better and safer once you were home.

I’m pretty much cluelessly naive and probably lucky to have never experienced an encounter like yours. I don’t know if I would have been as brave as you would have been, but I think after reading both of your stories my brain would kick into “be really loud” overdrive.

Comment by ordinary girl — January 16, 2008 @ 8:24 pm

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Kyle,

What would be niave is if you had not have posted what happened. You had your wits about you and you reacted exactly what someone should have done in your situation. That was smart. But I will say this don’t go back for a while running at the hilltain. It’s also obvious that these guys are scouting it out and looking for a victim. With thugs like that they always are brave the first time they try if they succeed they will continue to bully but because he was not he’ll look for new ways to try it again. BECAREFUL criminals are always looking for a way to out smart someone and the fact that he had partners means his pride is hurt so he’ll be even more stupid. you were brave you outwitted him

Comment by Anonymous — January 16, 2008 @ 9:01 pm

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Glad things are OK…and that you found a helpful fellow runner (even if he was a bit unwilling).

And definitely vote on the joining the gym, too…as exercise works best when you can concentrate on the muscles you’re working, it sounds like doing that in Santiago is almost impossible…

So not only will you be safer, girl, but you’ll also get a better workout!

Jayna

Comment by Anonymous — January 16, 2008 @ 9:54 pm

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I can’t believe that I am saying this …but I agree with chileno’s observations.
I really feel bad that you had to have this happen to you. I am so sorry and I feel horrible that you have to have this on your mind now. This seemed scarier to me than your mugging story.
Please stay safe for all of us who appreciate your presence in our lives.

Comment by Rachel — January 16, 2008 @ 10:48 pm

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holy you-know-what. that you-know-whater deserved a strong blast of pepper spray in the face. i will be much more careful on the cerro in the future. i think it’s so easy to think of it as a family recreation spot were things like that don’t happen. glad you’re ok!

Comment by Leigh — January 17, 2008 @ 7:18 am

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Sorry that happened to you Kyle. It is so unfair that women are targets for this type of thuggery. San Cristobal is really dangerous, though. My host mom is a runner/cyclist and goes up the hill every day with a partner. Maybe you want to join her sometime? She is a lot of fun and wouldn’t take any of that flaite nonsense either.

Comment by Lindsay — January 17, 2008 @ 8:04 am

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Argh! Scary! That’s really awful! So glad you’re okay. Please be careful!!!

Comment by Maurey Pierce — January 17, 2008 @ 10:26 am

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so sorry and I’m really shocked, and horrified.

There are safe places to jog, try Parque Forestal or Parque O’Higgins.

Comment by Chile Liberal — January 17, 2008 @ 3:51 pm

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That is really scary and I’m glad you’re ok. Be careful!

Comment by Wide Lawns — January 18, 2008 @ 4:11 pm

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you did the right thing girl. so glad to hear you got home.

xoxo

Comment by Marina — January 21, 2008 @ 4:19 am

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This made me think of when I was walking home from work one day in Trinidad and a man came up behind me and tried to put his hands between my legs.

To this day I can’t stand the sound of people running behind me. Even if I know there is a bus stop close by and I’m running to the bus I get paralysed with fear.

I screamed so loudly the man looked startled and ran away. A kind man came and checked on me. You did very well. I am so proud of you

Comment by Dana - W for Whatever — January 21, 2008 @ 10:12 am

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oh geez.
I know I’m late in getting to this, I’ve been off checking your other blog.

I am so relieved that you are ok. I have to agree with the other comments, I don’t think you were naive. You are smart enough to know something could happen and were as prepared as you could’ve been.

Sometimes you just gotta change your plan of attack. I agree, for your own piece of mind, join the gym. (I may be able to run in the freezing cold, but dodging rapists…that’s another story)

Again, lump in my throat. heart pounding, so glad you’re ok!

Comment by katieo — January 21, 2008 @ 1:30 pm

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I am so glad that you are a smart prepared woman! You got past that creep and did the best thing possible by attracting attention.

I would like to say (& everyone is going to hate me for it)you have to go back up the hilltain, not alone and definitely at a different time of day. I wouldn’t do it tomorrow, but, don’t leave it too long either, or you will never go near the hill again. You can’t let them win by default.

Comment by Reb — January 22, 2008 @ 12:35 am

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Oh, my God! That had to have been immensely frightening. I can’t even imagine…

Comment by zandria — January 26, 2008 @ 10:13 pm

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I’m going to sound like a total dick here, but this is why it’s useful to read the papers. Read this story from Las Ãšltimas Noticias, for example.

You took the most dangerous route on San CristÃ³bal: The PÃo Nono entrance (where the Zoo is). There is a safest route to the hilltop, and it starts at Pedro de Valdivia Norte, in Providencia. And by ‘safest’ I don’t mean danger-free, so always stay alert, if you even think about going up again.

Comment by Anonymous — January 27, 2008 @ 4:26 am

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Dangit, that was a narrow escape, especially considering that there were two! You did exactly the right thing to get out of the situation–yell, run away as fast as you could, find someone else.

But have you ever considered learning self-defense? A friend of mine who lives by herself started learning Haganah two years ago–at 63 years of age. Now she knows how to disable (and, if necessary, kill) multiple armed attackers within 10-20 seconds. Plus, self defense is quite a workout in itself.

Comment by Charlotte — January 28, 2008 @ 8:57 am

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Wow, your story is scary. Cerro San CristÃ³bal kind of freaks me out for that reason. It’s quite scenic and all, and I have biked up it with my boyfriend and his co-workers, and I remember I fell a bit behind my boyfriend and pretty soon he was out of site and I soon got an adrenalin rush and pedelled as fast as I could to catch him and his co-worker. One of his co-workers (a guy) biked San Cristobal alone one day and they robbed his bike.

Comment by Mae — January 31, 2008 @ 2:10 pm

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P.S. Your Chilean husband didnÂ´t warn you against jogging up Cerro San CristÃ³bal by yourself? Did he grow up in Sweden?

Comment by Maeskizzle — January 31, 2008 @ 2:48 pm

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So then I figured I might be the paranoiac one. I told my Chilean boyfriend I was going to jog Cerro San CristÃ³bal and he didnÂ´t dissuade me, though he did comment on how huge the cerro is.

Comment by Maeskizzle — February 1, 2008 @ 4:52 am

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Never mind that idiot “Chileno” (name he does not deserve, by the way): he always speaks dirt about us and magnifies all the bad things in Santiago. I’m guessing someone raped HIM in one of his trips to the hill. QuÃ© leÃ³n del cerro ni que nada, estÃºpido.
About you being naive, probably, or probably just misinformed. Any person from Santiago would tell you not to go jogging by yourself after dusk or really early in the morning, for fear of having an impasse like the one you had. More so if you’re blonde, dah!
It’s common sense; you probably wouldn’t jog by yourself at strange hours in Central Park, either.
Sure it’s sooo scary to suffer experiences like yours, and I agree that the guy who “helped” you out could have been a little bit more sensitive. He must have been just as scared as you were, plus he must have thought that you were another gringa looking for trouble (if you see the hill is empty, why not turn around and go home?)

Comment by Flo — February 7, 2008 @ 11:17 am

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Well, Flo, it was not dusk nor dawn. It was 6:30pm. Completely light out. The hill was not empty by any stretch of the imagination, in fact, I would say between 6-8pm is the busiest hour there, filled with runners and bikers. Everyone had warned to make sure I only ran there during the day. So I did, and it didn’t matter.

Comment by Mamacita Chilena — February 7, 2008 @ 1:06 pm

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This is exactly why during my last visit to Santiago I could not go to Cerro San Cristobal; I was by myself the day I had time, but I’ve heard just too many stories like yours too take the risk. It’s unfortunate, but it was not this like this in the past. I totally understand your terror and I’m sorry it happened to you.

Comment by Lilian — February 9, 2008 @ 9:53 am

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Hi! I just found your blog, not by accident I was looking for blogs of foreigner people living in Chile, just for fun…
Im a chilean, who just returned after 4 years living in Germany, and believe me: the worst of Chile right now its the social problem and all what comes of it…
I was so happy with the saftey in Germany, great pleace to live, maybe like your hometown in USA.
Please be careful here in Chile!
I cant believe you have been in danger 2 times until now… Im so so sorry about it… :-/ Actually, I feel shamed…

Comment by Irantzu — February 27, 2008 @ 10:08 pm

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Pobre mamacita. I know the physical nausea that experience can evoke.

You should be proud that you were prepared. You did the right thing.

I hope karma kicks those guys in the ass real hard–hijos de puta.

Comment by stilllifeinbuenosaires — November 15, 2008 @ 6:01 pm

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Another ugly experience…sorry for you again…I’ll just mention this to you…we have a good friend who’s also an avid runner, she’s a pretty little petite brunette…in her early 30′s she took up martial arts and boy can she kick ass…she has a 3rd degree Black belt…God help anyone that messes with her. Instead of working out at the gym…you might consider martial arts, I’m sure you’d get a good workout while learning self defense. Just a thought.
Good luck!

Comment by miguel — January 28, 2009 @ 2:38 pm

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