Fotografo de Bodas, Santiago

January 20, 2008

True story. Somebody from India found this blog by googling, “how to mix sleeping pills in girl’s drink.” I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this person (from New Dehli, India) bought his wife a helicopter for her birthday and he’s trying to knock her out for the night so he can safely land it on the roof and surprise her the next morning. Or maybe…yeah…there’s a million reasons somebody might want to find out how to mix sleeping pills in a girl’s drink….

Let’s thank Google France for sending an a lonely Frenchman in Paris to my blog, by searching for “home fuck just married.” I wonder if that’s like home, as in, home from the honeymoon, fuck, as in oh fuck I just got married? Or does this guy want a “home fuck” with the person he “just married”?

Who comes up first if you type in husband sick “she works hard for her money ” -donna -summer in Google Canada? Yep, that would be moi. And sadly enough, the exact same person that googled Donna Summers, then googled “how to cross the street in Mexico” about five minutes later and found my blog, erroneously, for the second time in a row. If I were that person, looking for random things on google and continuing to run into the same damn blog about Chile no matter what I typed in, having nothing to do with what I were looking for…I’d think there was some kind of crazy Google conspiracy planning on helping this Just Married Chilean Style freak take over the world.

But, the absolute scariest search recently, was someone who googled my full name and found me. Who are you, and why are you googling me? If you’re from a fabulous magazine and you want to hire me to be a freelance travel writer for you…by all means, Google away! If you’re someone from my high school who’s trying to find what I’m up to now, just look me up on facebook, that’s way less stalkerish…

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19 Comments

you are so fantastic, kyle.

xoxo

Comment by Marina — January 21, 2008 @ 4:12 am

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OK…two things…

One. That whole comment about Delhi is pretty scary as that’s where I’ll be in a couple of weeks. Def. keeping an eye on my drinks.

Two. How in the world do you know this? How are you tracking the google searches? I am a little green here. Hehehe

Jayna

Comment by Anonymous — January 21, 2008 @ 4:13 am

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At least people don’t find your blog by googling “poopie pants.” That’s how they get to mine.

And Jayna, there’s lots of tracking tools you can install on your blog that let you find these things out–I use statcounter (http://www.statcounter.com/)

Comment by Lisa B. — January 21, 2008 @ 5:16 am

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Someone once found the Bag Lady’s blog by googling a disgusting act of bestiality. Up popped the post on Barney, the Beer Drinking Horse. This fellow was not looking for a HORSE that drank, and “Hey, Buddy! LADIES don’t DO that kind of thing!!” Still makes the Bag Lady want to vomit.
(Damn, why did she have to remember that? Now she wants to use a scrub brush on her brain.)

Comment by the Bag Lady — January 21, 2008 @ 6:12 am

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I too would like to know how you can check out the google searches that lead to your blog! I use statmeter but I think it doesn’t have that “search word” feature… any help you can send my way?

And Mamacita, in case you’re wondering, I found your blog through Mexico Way when she wrote a really cool post about your writing skills some time ago. So that weird frenchman really aint’ me. I promise.

Fned.

Comment by Fned — January 21, 2008 @ 6:34 am

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I found your blog when I searched married chilean or something like that. Or actually, I think I found an interview you did first which led me to read your blog. I am going to marry a Chilean and we have a little Chilean/Japanese/American baby too. I plan on starting a blog because we are moving to Ecuador and I assume I will have plenty of things to get off my chest. Nice to meet you and nice blog.

Comment by kumichan83 — January 21, 2008 @ 7:56 am

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People find my blog by googling “Hare Potter” (Don’t ask – I was doing a kind of Hare Krishna/Harry Potter chant when the last movie was coming out…

Sad but true

Comment by Dana - W for Whatever — January 21, 2008 @ 10:15 am

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Kyle… I’m pretty sure from my computer we searched your name and then clicked on your blog. Maybe that’s where you got the full name search hit? A less scary idea, at least!!

Comment by Amanda — January 21, 2008 @ 10:48 am

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People find my blog by searching such things as “gecko poo” and “mexican spider”.

I’m so happy to contribute. LOL.

Loved this blog.

Oh! And thanks for being real and swearing. I like people that swear on blogs. Not so much for the swearing aspect of it all, but more because if that’s what you’d really say in real life, then you should also say it in your blog.

Or not. I’m gonna go search “chilean fuck married sleeping pill” now and see what comes up.

Comment by Mexico Way — January 21, 2008 @ 10:58 am

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Yep. I searched it and you’re blog was up first. *laughs nervously*

Comment by Mexico Way — January 21, 2008 @ 11:02 am

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“fucking Santiago”

Wooo-hooo! Number 5 & 6 baby.

Comment by Chileno — January 21, 2008 @ 6:37 pm

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Hilarious!!! I just read in a magazine that people who google their own names several times a day are now called “Narcissurfers” this made me think of that. At least it is other peple who are googling you Loved this.

Comment by Cara — January 23, 2008 @ 1:21 pm

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I am totally with you. But wait until you have kids and someone googles there names! And Rhylee is definately not a usualy way of spelling her name! That is freaky!!! i hope you figure out who your stalker is!

Comment by TD — January 25, 2008 @ 8:11 pm

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Well I found you by typing “pilates in Santiago Chile” as I was looking for somewhere that does it. Or maybe that sent me to the other blog and I was then was in shock that there were other English speakers in Santiago (stupid shock as I know you are there) and MAYBE (though donÂ´t tell anyone) IÂ´m slightly missing the smog and noise capital of the Southern COne in my break in the USA. Was nice to read through a few entries and think of Santiago (and hope that my flat is still ok and that VTR and Chilectra can cope with me not paying my bills until I get back in Feb). I jog in the Parque Forestal: the occasional sleeping drunk but nothing worse (though I am male and could pass as Latino if it were for the fact that no Chilean male would be out running at 7am)

Comment by James — January 29, 2008 @ 4:01 pm

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‘wet t-shit competition’ got me a visit once – I am sure they were disappointed by the fact that it was about running in the rain

Comment by ellie — January 29, 2008 @ 4:46 pm

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lol. We all get those strange search items.

My most popular one is “Sydney Brooke Simpson”. Rarely does a day go by that I don’t see that one in the list. Go figure.

Comment by cube — January 30, 2008 @ 9:19 am

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I just googled you. You’re famous!!

Comment by EvilJoy — February 3, 2008 @ 1:21 pm

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Hmmm, the searches that turn up my blog aren’t that interesting at all,though “what do people eat for dinner in egypt” and “what do snowbirds eat” have to do with my retirement in Mexico? My cooking blog keywords all seem to have to do with cooking. I found your blog on the links in another blog,while I was avoiding doing housework.
regards,
Therea

Comment by Theresa — February 9, 2008 @ 2:32 pm

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okay, clearly I need to get myself one of those sitemeter things, so I can see how these google searches take place. I’ve got nothing like that on my blog.

I think it’s weird that your blog shows up on so many random searches. perhaps your blog is secretly an attention-seeking blog, and you dont even know it. Maybe it butts in, in front of the other google url’s and says “pick me, pick me”…

WHAT? it could happen.

Comment by That girl — February 9, 2008 @ 6:56 pm

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