2008 March | Kyle Hepp

March 28, 2008

In general, I try to avoid doing and saying things that will contribute to furthering the stereotype of the stupid dumb gringo. I don’t always succeed, but I do try. Other people, apparently, do not take such precautions.

Let me start at the beginning. Today I went to the mall to buy a present for my mother in law. It was her birthday about a month ago so I wanted to get on that or risk losing face for not being timely with my gift While I was there, I walked past the pretzels stand and couldn’t resist. The smell was too much for me to handle. I ordered a soft pretzel with “salsa verde,” which actually wasn’t a salsa but had green salt/herbs flavoring sprinkled on top. I finished it off and then got the rest of my shopping done. Before I left I got thirsty, so I bought a water and headed to the outdoor food court to people watch.

A group of four old visiting gringos nabbed the table behind me. The first thing I heard the hundred year old woman say to one of the 75 year old men with her was, “I can’t believe we haven’t seen any Indians here.”

Oh, but don’t worry, it gets better.

The old wrinkly guy answers with condescending superiority, “Mom, you can’t call them Indians anymore! The natives would consider that really rude. They’re ethnics. But you’re right, it is weird. There don’t seem to be any at the mall.”

Yeah, how weird, no indigenous people walking around the mall in loin clothes, fancy that.

I also saw the same man point to a girl as gringa as you and I and practically yell out, “Look! That Chilean is wearing flip flops. My guide book says Chileans don’t wear flip flops! It was WRONG.”

And then their group proceeded to argue over the correct pronunciation of dulce de leche. Three were all for Dell-ZAY Dee Let’s See. The old lady, however, was dead set on the kind of, but not really, Italian pronunciation. Although her version was something like this, DUHL-cha duh Luh-CHA, said with a Southern accent.

My brain was about to explode so I got up and left. As I strolled to the restroom, I thought to myself, “What idiots!” I got to the bathroom and began washing my hands. Then catastrophe struck. I glanced into the mirror, I noticed a HUGE morsel of the “green salsa,” to the right of my chin. It looked like a crusty booger plastered to my face.

I had been walking around shopping at upscale stores, conversing with store clerks and smiling at small children with the most conspicuous fake giant booger on my face.

Who’s the idiot now???

Comments

March 24, 2008

Have you ever heard of couch surfing? It’s basically the coolest idea ever. Basically, it’s a website dedicated to hooking up travelers with people who want to host them, be it, show them around the city, meet up for coffee or even offer them their couch for a night or two.

I first heard about the website on Dave’s round the world traveling blog. He’s been traveling now for almost four months and he’s spent some time couch surfing. For a long time I was reading things like, “I surfed someone’s couch last night,” and I was like what the heck is that?!? When I finally checked out the Couch Surfing website and figured out what it was I was ecstatic. What a genius idea!

I signed up right away and within a few days someone had emailed asking if she could couch surf with us for two days. I looked at her profile and saw that she had received nothing but positive reviews from other people on the site so we decided to say yes. Why not?

She arrived yesterday and just spent one night with us. Here from Panama to study law en la Universidad de Chile, she just wanted a place to stay while she looked for some kind of student residence where she could live permanently. She found one today!

Before she came I wasn’t really sure what to expect. Do people just come for a free place to stay? Or are they actually excited to meet you? Xili was excited to meet us and we felt the same. She was awesome and sweet, and best of all, she didn’t murder us in our sleep with an axe or anything like that.

I’m thrilled that we had a good first experience hosting someone and I can’t wait to receive more people on our couch! In two more weeks a German girl and a guy from New Zealand are coming. They’re traveling together so I told them if they want to squish together it’s up to them, although I really have no idea how they are going to fit!

Really, there are a few reasons why I wanted to do this. I love to meet people. I really enjoy showing people around Santiago. Those who have never been before are always so thrilled by everything, and their amazement and wonder helps me from being so jaded towards this city. The biggest reason though, is that every time S. and I have ever traveled anywhere, people have been great to us. Strangers helped us along the way, and people that we just met treated us like old friends. I know when we take our big trip around the world that kindness will just continue. So I’m sort of like paying it back right now, even though we haven’t left yet

Comments

March 21, 2008

I used to not write in here for lack of inspiration. Now I have about a hundred different topics that I could post but I just haven’t had the time. Take a look at my sidebar and see how many different blogs I’m writing for. That should help you understand my total lack of dedication to JMCS.

Anyways, so one of the crazy things that I was thinking about the other day might sort of surprise you. We have a nana who comes once a week to clean the whole apartment. I’m really embarrassed to tell people that because our apartment is so small and that’s such a cuico thing to do. Cuico means a rich, upper class, snob. All I have to do though, is write one extra story and that covers the cost, so how could I pass that up?

The concept of nanas is something I’m not really comfortable with in Chile. There’s such a distinction between the life of a nana and the life of someone who can afford a nana. And then to bring a nana into my home and have her cleaning everything and fricken folding my underwear…well, that just seems not only degrading but also as if I’m rubbing in her face everything that I have that she probably never will. I also don’t like the fact that having a nana is definitely a status symbol in this country. You haven’t made it big until you have a nana. And the people who make it really big have nanas to assist their nanas. That’s mostly because labor here is just so cheap.

But, nonetheless, I still hired one. Every Chilean person that I’ve ever talked to has had the same attitude — if you can afford a nana why in the world wouldn’t you have one? My mother in law basically convinced me that any any woman in Chile who works must have a nana. If not, a career is an impossibility. Because you can pretty much count on zero help from the male half of the family this means one thing. Basically upper/middle class female liberation in this country came at the expense of females on the lowest socio-economic level.

The cost of my nana is less than what I pay for my shampoo and conditioner set. And no, I don’t pay exorbitant prices for my shampoo, although it’s definitely a lot pricier here than in the U.S. That’s probably because it’s a blond person shampoo and there are only like three blond people in all of Chile, myself included, so the demand is not real high.

Anyways, back to the point. Nana < Shampoo + Conditioner. And that's considering that I overpay my nana significantly.

We are part of the ruling ~~caste~~ class. I know we work extremely hard for all that we have. But, that doesn’t change the fact that once a week, when Eloisa is working hard to make my little apartment spotless, and I’m sitting on my couch, using my computer to write my stories, my guilty conscious works overtime.

Comments

I was tagged by lovely Mrs. Mexpat for this meme. Usually when I read that people tag me for memes, I then promptly forget to do them. But after reading that Mexpat tagged me, the next day I saw the same meme on Fned’s blog which reminded me to actually do it.

The premise is that you “bold” all the statements that are true. The more bold lines one has, the more privileged one’s formative years were.

Please note: The list is based on an exercise developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. The exercise developers ask that if you participate in this blog game, you acknowledge their copyright.

Father went to college

Father finished college

Mother went to college

Mother finished college

Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor - I don’t think so.

Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers (I think they mean social class) - Me or my parents? I think yes, I would assume yes, but I’m not sure. It’s also hard to compare lifestyle in one country to another country.

Had more than 50 books in your childhood home

Had more than 500 books in your childhood home - I am a book addict, as are my mom and dad. I’m pretty sure each member of the family had 500 hundred books in each of our individual bookshelves.

Were read children’s books by a parent - constantly.

Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18 -

Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18 - Piano, dance, gymnastics, flute. I will say that as a single mom, my mom took out loans from family members, skipped out on expensive vacations, extravagant homes. She drove a car that was like from the year of the invention of the car. She worked 70 hours a week. My mom sacrificed everything to make sure that her kids had every opportunity they could possibly want.

The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively

Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18 - I got my first credit card in college, used it like twice and then this year I closed it. What’s the point?

Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs

Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs - scholarships, grants and loans (all in my name, not my parents’ paid for my all of my college costs).

Went to a private high school - haha. No.

Went to summer camp - Yes, and cheer camp and band camp and soccer camp. Fundraisers and my own part-time jobs helped cover expenses.

Had a private tutor before you turned 18 - I was a tutor, does that count?

Family vacations involved staying at hotels - Are you seriously asking me that?!?

Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 - No

Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them - No.

There was original art in your house when you were a child - I think so, but I can’t really remember. I believe my mom sometimes brought back original art that she brought home from her business trips to other countries.

Had a phone in your room before you turned 18 - Yep.

You and your family lived in a single family house - Yes.

Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home - If you’re asking if the mortgage was paid off, then no, but if you mean the house wasn’t a rental, than yes.

Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course - No, I’m a good test taker so I didn’t think I needed it.

Had your own TV in your room in High School - No

Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College - Definitely not.

Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16 - Of course! My parents were divorced and they lived in different states. I couldn’t drive myself to FL when I was 12 could I???

Went on a cruise with your family - Hell no!

Went on more than one cruise with your family - Triple Hell NO!!!

Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up

You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family

I’m going to tag Ordinary Girl, Rachel, Maurey Pierce and FeistyMN Girl. Have fun

Comments

March 10, 2008

Consider this…I live in the land of crappy reggaeton. It has taken over Chilean eardrums. Even the ballads in this country are reggaeton. See exhibit A:

This is currently the most popular song in Chile. People drive by blasting it out of car windows. The workers remodeling the inside of the building in front of us listen to it all day long. At the gym the guy on the treadmill next to me yesterday was actually singing, as he jogged. He mumbled, “Mami, I’m lonely” and I was about to flip out. I was like oh no this guy did NOT just call me mami. Then he continued, “te lo hago toda noche tambien in the morning,” (morning pronounced muurning in case you were wondering), and I realized he was just singing that stupid song. That’s life in Chile, just a constant stream of reggaeton beats.

So tonight, I was sitting on my couch with the balcony sliding door opening like usual. I was watching t.v./working on the computer like the good little multi tasker I am. I’m pretty good about blocking out the noises that come from outside. So as I was inside doing my thing, I barely even realized that I had started humming along to She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy….wait…WHAT?!? Oh. My. Gosh. Somebody had Kenny Chesney on at full blast. I ran out on my balcony and looked around frantically trying to figure out where the song was coming from. And then just as abruptly as it started, it stopped. I waited to see if they would play another country song, but that was about a half hour ago and I have heard another peep from that direction. I even went so far as to stand out on my balcony and shout, “Who is playing country?!?” The only reaction I got was from a few old men who looked up, saw me and started whistling. Damn it!

Before you go abroad you think you’ll miss your family and your friends the most. You don’t realize that what can really trigger a bout of deep homesickness is a song, a genre of music that you haven’t heard outside of your own iPod in years, the smell of teriyaki chicken or any food you used to eat back home, even just reading an old book can take you back to wherever you were the first time around that you picked it up.

Whenever I get hit with that homesick feelings it’s always a surprise to me. I go about my day to day life here and there’s normally not too much that I miss. And just so you don’t go thinking I’m a cold hearted wench, it’s not that I don’t love my family, I’m just used to being away from them. Even if I lived in the U.S. I wouldn’t be in Michigan anyways so it’s not like I’d see them more than I do now. We talk all the time. And I do wish I could see my friends more, but all my true friends have been good about staying in touch. I’ve learned to value their emails and phone calls so much.

It’s those little things that get to me. Like Kenny Chesney.