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So That’s How We Got Our Reputation…

Read on

March 28, 2008

In general, I try to avoid doing and saying things that will contribute to furthering the stereotype of the stupid dumb gringo. I don’t always succeed, but I do try. Other people, apparently, do not take such precautions.

Let me start at the beginning. Today I went to the mall to buy a present for my mother in law. It was her birthday about a month ago so I wanted to get on that or risk losing face for not being timely with my gift ;) While I was there, I walked past the pretzels stand and couldn’t resist. The smell was too much for me to handle. I ordered a soft pretzel with “salsa verde,” which actually wasn’t a salsa but had green salt/herbs flavoring sprinkled on top. I finished it off and then got the rest of my shopping done. Before I left I got thirsty, so I bought a water and headed to the outdoor food court to people watch.

A group of four old visiting gringos nabbed the table behind me. The first thing I heard the hundred year old woman say to one of the 75 year old men with her was, “I can’t believe we haven’t seen any Indians here.”

Oh, but don’t worry, it gets better.

The old wrinkly guy answers with condescending superiority, “Mom, you can’t call them Indians anymore! The natives would consider that really rude. They’re ethnics. But you’re right, it is weird. There don’t seem to be any at the mall.”

Yeah, how weird, no indigenous people walking around the mall in loin clothes, fancy that.

I also saw the same man point to a girl as gringa as you and I and practically yell out, “Look! That Chilean is wearing flip flops. My guide book says Chileans don’t wear flip flops! It was WRONG.”

And then their group proceeded to argue over the correct pronunciation of dulce de leche. Three were all for Dell-ZAY Dee Let’s See. The old lady, however, was dead set on the kind of, but not really, Italian pronunciation. Although her version was something like this, DUHL-cha duh Luh-CHA, said with a Southern accent.

My brain was about to explode so I got up and left. As I strolled to the restroom, I thought to myself, “What idiots!” I got to the bathroom and began washing my hands. Then catastrophe struck. I glanced into the mirror, I noticed a HUGE morsel of the “green salsa,” to the right of my chin. It looked like a crusty booger plastered to my face.

I had been walking around shopping at upscale stores, conversing with store clerks and smiling at small children with the most conspicuous fake giant booger on my face.

Who’s the idiot now???

19 Comments

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19 Comments »

  1. This post is hilarious! Can’t believe those Americans, aaaargh!

    Have a good weekend, see you next week!!!

    Comment by Tamsin — March 28, 2008 @ 3:09 pm

  2. Um, er, *looks the other way*.

    P.S. You’ve been tagged! Sorry!!!! I hate it too!

    Comment by Mexico Way — March 28, 2008 @ 4:23 pm

  3. Ha ha ha. Awesomely funny post. I needed a good laugh.

    Comment by Ritamae — March 28, 2008 @ 7:18 pm

  4. Haha! Great story.

    Comment by Ordinary Girl — March 28, 2008 @ 9:21 pm

  5. And then they said, “My guidebook said Chileans don’t have green boogers. This guidebook is just wrong about everything!”

    Jayna

    Comment by Anonymous — March 29, 2008 @ 2:25 am

  6. You guys have soft prezels in Chile??? lucky! I often roll my eyes at the guiris here (Spain´s equivalent to Gringos). They wear safari outfits to visit gothic cathedrals. With that kind of wardrobe logic it´s no wonder they think they´ll see someone in a loin walking around a upscale shopping mall.

    Comment by Bluestreak — March 29, 2008 @ 4:39 am

  7. Very funny post. It is sad how some people do not realize how stupid they sound when they say things like that. I hate it when I get fake boogers stuck on my face ;)

    Comment by Reb — March 29, 2008 @ 9:51 am

  8. So I ended up reading this out loud to Edgard and we laughed at all the gringos in this post…sorry fake boogered gringas not excluded.

    The thing I hate listening to here is all of the gringos that are talking about “those illegals” that should be sent back…and things of that nature. That is always really frustrating because they refer to them as if they were animals and not human at all. It is funnier to get stuck listening to someone who visited México (or someplace else) one time and is now an “expert” that needs to educate their friends. That is usually good for some laughs.

    Comment by Rachel — March 29, 2008 @ 10:27 am

  9. Yeah- we always laugh at people explaining Tacos al Pastor to their visiting friends and think “ugh! How Gringo!” and then we catch ourselves explaining Tacos al Pastor to our visiting friends… is this a vicious circle or will I ever escape this gringa thing!?! :)

    Comment by mexpat — March 29, 2008 @ 12:07 pm

  10. I’m giggling and making a note to self to check the mirror more often.

    Comment by kirida — March 30, 2008 @ 5:13 pm

  11. Heheh… that’s too funny. :)

    Comment by Rebecca — March 30, 2008 @ 6:47 pm

  12. Gotta hate those fake boogers! Great post…too funny. A lesson to all of us when traveling to keep our mouths shut and have people wonder if we’re stupid, rather than open them and confirm it!

    Comment by the Bag Lady — March 30, 2008 @ 7:17 pm

  13. What can I say?
    I guess they knew so much about Chile before coming here, as I know about Sumatra (not really their fault)… and then, they read too many much wrong touristic guides about Chile (totally their fault)…
    They shouldve trusted more in internet, and checked out a blog like yours! ;-)

    Comment by Irantzu — March 30, 2008 @ 8:22 pm

  14. ahahaha… I have witnessed my own share of “american-ness” here in France that gets me giggling… but then I remember one thing… no matter how dumb the comment coming out of a tourist gringo’s mouth is… it’s always going to be accompanied by a friendly smile.

    :-)
    Fned.

    Comment by Fned — March 31, 2008 @ 4:45 am

  15. Haha, oh well…We all have our moments. By the way, Mr. Pretzel’s cinnamon-sugar soft pretzel is almost delicious enough to motivate me to make the hour-long trek to a mall.

    Comment by Leigh — March 31, 2008 @ 11:39 am

  16. oh, my, DUHL-cha duh Luh-CHA, made me choke on drink of water. When I read it to myself, I read it as ducha de lucha (a fighting shower). I was having a senior moment because I caught myself thinking “Who do they think all the short ladies in the huapils are?” then I remembered that you are in Chile.
    I have a friend who has lived in Yucatan for 30 years, but looks (as her daughter says) like she just got off the plane from Canada. Anyway, one day in Centro she took pity on some lost tourists and helped them out. When they thanked her, one of the things they did was compliment her on her excellent English.Being the polite Canadian that she is, she thanked them.
    regards,
    Theresa

    Comment by Theresa — April 3, 2008 @ 11:57 am

  17. Hola from Spain! Ha Ha, VERY funny post! We are a family 20 months into an open ended trip around the world and looking forward to our time in South America ( after our long stays in Europe & Africa). Glad I found your site!!

    Comment by Soultravelers3 — April 3, 2008 @ 2:08 pm

  18. Well, I’ll bet YOU were wearing the proper footwear…

    Comment by Chickenbells — April 4, 2008 @ 11:58 am

  19. Hahahaha, great post!
    Happens here too (Peru), it is amazing how this keeps happening all over!
    I’m glad to say I’ve met pretty cool people, smart and open minded that forgot about the books and came to visit and enjoy ‘the real’ thing around here :)

    Comment by Mel — April 10, 2008 @ 9:57 am

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