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Do I Really Speak Fluent Spanish?

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June 13, 2008

I think I speak fluent Spanish….or at least sometimes I think I do. Granted, I have the horrible accent and all that, but I speak quickly and easily in the language without having to translate in my head or anything like that. I dream in Spanish quite often and sometimes even when I’m speaking or typing in English I’ll accidentally write a word out in espanol just because it’s what comes to mind first.

But, every once in a while I’ll overhear something that makes me wonder, “Did he/she really just say that or I am totally misunderstanding because I don’t speak Spanish.”

Today at the pharmacy, an older woman walked in, and to no one in general began mumbling, very loudly “Donde esta la crema lechuga, crema lechuga donde estas?”

It’s always funny to hear someone talking out loud in public, especially if she looks like a crazy cat lady and is repeating over and over, “Where’s the lettuce lotion, lettuce lotion where are you.”

I thought I was losing it and that she must have been saying a word that sounded like lettuce but had a different meaning more related to personal hygiene products and not edibles.

A guard quickly approached her and replied, “M’am, the lettuce lotion is right over there,” pointing her in the right direction. I stared at him incredulously, and may have even said out loud, just like the crazy cat lady, “Lettuce lotion?!? That can’t be right!”

So I casually meandered on past where the crazy cat lady was staring at bottles of creams and sure enough, she was holding one that said “Crema Lechuga.”

Now my brain was really about to explode. Could I be translating “lechuga,” wrong? Does lechuga not mean lettuce? Could lechuga really mean freckles or bags under your eyes?!? What is going on???

I walked home pondering the mysteries of life and Crema Lechuga. Then all of a sudden it hit me! There’s a saying here that goes, “fresco como lechuga,” or “fresh as lettuce,” in the literal translation, which would be the equivalent of saying “fresh as a daisy,” in English.

Fresh Lotion would make a lot more sense than Lettuce Lotion, even though Lettuce Lotion does have a nice ring to it.

And YAY, I do speak Spanish, just like I suspected. Why do I doubt myself, and then start thinking that I’m the one going “round the bend,” in the words of the great Roald Dahl? I’m not crazy…the cat lady isn’t even crazy. We’re both totally sane…because the fact that Lettuce Lotion exists here makes perfect sense :)

PS. Just googled crema lechuga and it has it’s own website! Coolio.

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17 Comments »

  1. That is my hardest thing in spanish.. I want to translate everything word for word…I can’t wait until I can actually just spit out an answer with out having to translate in my head!

    Comment by TD — June 13, 2008 @ 5:56 pm

  2. Gotta love Roald Dahl and his “Revolting Rhymes” . . .black as pitch and round the twist an round the bend.

    I might have to pick up some of that Lettuce Lotion when I visit, the Lord knows my tired face could use some rejuvenation (sp?) . . but then again, you could just take pictures and de-wrinkle me in them!

    Comment by Ritamae — June 13, 2008 @ 7:10 pm

  3. My boss once used the expression “throw the baby out with the bath water” in an e-mail to someone from China. He wrote back VERY concerned that Americans were throwing away babies.

    Language… so tough… seriously.

    Comment by Rebecca — June 14, 2008 @ 9:09 am

  4. If I’d heard someone in a pharmarcy ask for Lechuga lotion I too would have thought they were bonkers. Never heard of the stuff either.

    I know the feeling when it suddenly hits you that you’ve finally gotten to a level in the foreign language that you GET the little subtilities and language gliches that used to be reserved for the natives only. It’s a momenteous acomplishement. Congratulations girl!

    Fned.

    You’ve spiked my curiosity about the lechuga lotion. I’m going to my pharmacist right now to ask if they have any “crème de laitue” …. see if I get confused for a looney foreigner. LOL

    Comment by Fned — June 15, 2008 @ 1:00 am

  5. Crema Lechuga … never though I’d hear those words again. My wife and I used it faithfully while living in Chile and especially when hiking in the altiplano. It really works!
    John in japan

    Comment by John Montpetit — June 15, 2008 @ 1:26 am

  6. I can’t wait until I “get it” like that with Spanish. I can hang out with Mexicans and speak fairly normally, but I notice that when they’re hanging out together the speak a little more casually or something… it just takes time I suppose.

    You gotta try some of that Lettuce Lotion and report! :)

    Comment by mexpat — June 15, 2008 @ 10:14 am

  7. I know what it is but only because Rodolfo’s mom has some in the bathroom…I’m pretty sure the first time I noticed it I was just as confused. I also sort of wonder at what point people like us – who really are fluent and familiar with the culture – don’t know things because they’ve come from a different place vs. not knowing things just cause you don’t know everything. I mean, even in the US there are beauty products I’ve never heard of!

    Comment by Emily — June 15, 2008 @ 2:34 pm

  8. every chilean knows crema lechuga. I think the problem here is chilean culture not spanish language

    Comment by Anonymous — June 15, 2008 @ 9:24 pm

  9. I LOVE that they have lettuce lotion there!! Now I want some…. wonder if it would make an old bag…lady look fresh again!
    (And I loved this post – made me chuckle!)

    Comment by the Bag Lady — June 15, 2008 @ 9:51 pm

  10. Lettuce lotion – wonderful! I wonder how long before it is available in Canada. Great post!

    Comment by Reb — June 15, 2008 @ 11:33 pm

  11. Love it! I have similar moments. Thanks for this funny post!

    Comment by Julie — June 16, 2008 @ 2:16 pm

  12. Wow I love your blog. This post was so funny. I was reading along and thinking the same thing… Lechuga… that means lettuce right? I’m glad you didn’t break out some crazy meaning at the end, because I was like, “Oh No, I am seriously in trouble for spain if I don’t know Lechuga…”

    Comment by Christine Gilbert — June 16, 2008 @ 4:45 pm

  13. Another unfortunate example of this situation is the toothpaste sold in Taiwan called Hei Ren Ya Gao, which roughly translates to Black People Toothpaste. My friends explained to me that the toothpaste was very popular because of the widespread perception that Black people’s teeth are very white.

    Comment by Magnifique — June 19, 2008 @ 1:17 pm

  14. Oh my goodness. I KNOW Lettuce lotion. I never thought a thing about it, but now I just realized how funny the name is. I used it to take off my mascara prior to getting your eye makeup remover!!! :) It took off half my lashes in the mean time. My suegra stocks it up in her cabinet like there’s no tomorrow!

    Comment by Amanda — June 20, 2008 @ 9:34 pm

  15. hahahaha…. u have that problems because us -chileans- do not speak spanish but chilean!! I strongly recommend you to buy “How to survive in the chilean jungle” wrote by an american.

    i’ll be reading more about you :P

    regards,

    Pablo “a nice chilean” :P

    Comment by j4ur14 — July 2, 2008 @ 9:22 am

  16. While I don’t quite feel that way with Spanish yet, I am definitely getting close. Every once in a while I encounter an idiom or local expression that translates quite different literally into English. Some of them are so easy/fun to learn because they’re so strange.

    One example is the English “in an instant” or “in a flash” (just saying how fast something occurs)…well in Spanish one way to translate is “en menos que canta un gallo” (in less time than a chicken crows).

    I have to admit that my Spanish accent is quite bad, although I do also sometimes dream in Spanish. Slowly but surely i’m getting there, but it’s good to know other Spanish learners have experienced the same thing.

    Comment by Jeff — July 3, 2008 @ 12:31 pm

  17. Greetings from Arequipa, Peru!

    I am an American expat working in an effort to boost my company’s sales in the United States and Europe. Being a male, I have no idea about cosmetics. So in trying to learn more about one of our products, I googled “crema lechuga -receta” (-receta to filter out food results). Your blog post is at the top of the results – cheers!

    You may have come across our brand, we are represented well in Chile. There is not a direct link to our Crema Lechuga page, but click the cosmetics button to find it: http://www.naturaperu.com/main/eng/index.html

    By the way, as unknown as it is among gringos, don’t expect it in the general market anytime soon. We are first trying to enter Latino markets in CA, TX, FL, etc.

    Comment by Colin Post — July 31, 2008 @ 1:48 pm

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