June 20, 2008
When I was little I thought that when I grew up I wouldn’t need to sleep. In my mind adults could just stay up all night and all day because that’s what my mom did. The poor woman was raising two kids, working 60 hours a week and getting her master’s degree all at the same time. Since I would wake up at 4am for a glass of water and there she’d be sitting, typing a paper or something of the like, I just thought she never slept.
My mom was and still is a superwoman. She has literally dedicated the last 24 years of her life to helping me and my brother reach our goals and our dreams. I know a lot of moms are selfless but mine took it to new levels. I think she went years without buying a single item for herself…no new clothes, new shoes, no candles for her bedroom, nothing…just so she could spend money on other things for her kids, like band camp and new cleats for soccer and piano lessons. We may not have been materially wealthy but my mom encouraged us to do every single extra curricular activity we were interested in, even though that was a huge strain on her budget. She didn’t want us to be deprived of any of the experiences life has to offer. She indebted herself to buy a plane ticket for me to Chile 10 years ago, and look where that got me. When I told her I made the cheerleading team and that required buying whities, a separate pair of shoes for tumbling and for stunting and for jumping, new warm up uniforms in the fall and winter, cheerleading camp in the summer (NOT cheap at all), she said, “We’ll find a way to pay for it.” When I wanted to join band, she found a used flute to buy me.
And aside from making financial sacrifices, I cannot even imagine giving of my time the way my mom gave of hers. Some of my friends parents would come to soccer games or band meets or cheerleading competitions when they could make it. Some other parents never went. My mom falls into neither of those categories. She went to every single event I ever had in high school. And I had a lot of events. From August-November I played club soccer so I’d have one game a week, plus I cheered at the football games every Friday and had band festivals most Saturdays. She went to them all. December through March were the cheerleading competitions and indoor soccer games. Soccer was once a week and so were cheerleading competitions, six hours long every Saturday. The reason many other moms didn’t go to all of those competitions is because of the six hours they’re 5 hours and 50 minutes of watching other teams, and 10 minutes of watching your own team’s three rounds…and of those three rounds, each girl isn’t necessarily in all of them. So you may get to watch your daughter for a grand total of 3 minutes during the 6 hours you’re sitting in back achingly uncomfortable bleachers in a hot sweaty crowd of screaming cheerleaders and parents. And don’t forget, these competitions were all over the state of Michigan, sometimes four hours away. THEN, we’d get home and I’d make her watch the videos with me over and over and over, sometimes in slow motion. I’m sorry mom, I was an evil child.
Then came soccer season from March-June, and we sometimes had three games a week. My mom never missed a game. She never missed anything. In my childhood, I never lacked for a supportive adult figure in my life. Oh, and let’s not forget, I’m not an only child. My mom also juggled my events with my brother’s, although he was significantly less involved in sports than I was.
So we have financial and emotional support covered…how else is my mom the best mother in the entire world you ask? Well, she’s never been a judgmental kind of person, but with her kids I can truly say that her love was unconditional. She never belittled us for the choices we made or tried to get us to go down a path we didn’t want to. I went from wanting to be a mermaid, to Janet Jackson, to an Olympic gymnast, to World Cup soccer player, to president of the U.S., to a business woman to an interpreter, to who knows what else. Never once did my mom say, “No, that’s not possible.”
When I got a job as a celebrity gossip blogger the response elicited a lot of looks. You know the look…the one that says you’re using your college degree for that?!? You’re doing what with your life now???
Guess who never gave me the look. Guess who said, “I’m so proud of you. You’re a talented writer and I’m amazed that you’ve been resourceful enough to find a way to make a great living in Chile!”
Yeah, of course it was my mom who said that.
She’s a woman whose love for her kids knows no boundaries. And aside from the fact that she’s my mom, I genuinely enjoy her company and think she’s a fascinating person. We make each other laugh, enjoy doing similar things and always have great, stimulating conversation together.
And she arrives in Chile tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For the first time ever, I will be hosting my mom in my home. Finally, after so many years of her giving to me, I am able to give something to her. I helped her buy her plane ticket down and it felt SO good. I have been wanting to have enough money to spoil my mom ever since I’ve can remember and now I finally can! It’s also different that now she will be coming to stay with me, which means I’ll get to take care of her for a little while. Usually I’m staying with her, or we’re both at a neutral place.
I don’t know, writing this whole blog entry feels totally inadequate. I don’t know how to even come close to expressing my gratefulness for everything that my mom is to me.
So mom, if you read this before you get on the plane, thank you. I love you and I can’t wait to see you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(And to everyone else reading this, please send a few good thoughts/prayers/wishes up in the air for my mom to have a safe trip).
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- If you don't try and keep up, you just sound like yourself, which should sound like the moment. ~Grace Jones.
- I have no competition and no rivals. Everybody's got their own pace, their own trip. I don't try to keep up. ~Grace Jones, cont'd.
- @inosherry, I can't say I am very wizzardy but I can certainly try!
- 4am and I'm not tired. But 7:30am is going to come quick. At least I got lots of editing done!
- @markdubya, it might be 2010 but we're definitely still in Michigan. Speaking of. I'm here. Let's hang!
- Planning a baby shower for my future sister in law. This is definitely NOT my forte.
This made me cry a little…I would cry a lot, but I’m at work, and that’s just awkward. I feel like as you grow up, your parents stop being superheros: you know they have limits, they’re not perfect, they’re not always right, and they won’t be here forever. But you start realizing all that they’ve done for you, and that’s even more amazing than any kind of superhero. I can’t imagine how much your mom will love reading this, and I can’t wait to meet her!
Comment by Emily — June 20, 2008 @ 10:01 am
such a touching tribute to your mom, kyle…i’m sure she’s going to love this. and how exciting that your mom is coming to visit! have an over-the-top fantastic time with her there, kyle!
Comment by rik — June 20, 2008 @ 10:05 am
sending safe-flying thoughts her way.
i’m sure your mom will love your place, seeing how you and the husband live, and all the wonderful things you will show her about Chile. and i hope she appreciates this sweet tribute!
Comment by feistyMNgirl — June 20, 2008 @ 10:57 am
Kyle,
You are making me cry! There are no words to express my thanks for the beautiful tribute. I will read it over and over. I might even print it and frame it! I can’t wait to give you a big hug and kiss when I get there (I’m in the airport as I write this).
Now my only fear is that you’ve built me up to be such a big person I hope I don’t disappoint all of your friends that I will meet when I get there. They might think “This tired, wrinkly, jet-lagged hag of a woman just isn’t as fascinating as Kyle made her out to be!” Ha!
You are the best, most wonderful daughter in the whole wide world and I just can’t wait to be there with you.
Love,
Rita mama
Comment by Ritamae — June 20, 2008 @ 1:23 pm
Yeah, that’s a tearjerker, both Kyle’s entry and her mom’s reply. See you guys tomorrow.
Comment by Maeskizzle — June 20, 2008 @ 3:45 pm
That’s absolutely fantastic — I have a similar relationship with my mother, one where we share mutual respect and admiration as well as a sense of humor. I’m fortunate enough to get to see my mom fairly regularly for at least half the year, and I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to be so far away.
Her visit is going to be so special for you both — how great will it be for her to have her own memory of a place when you tell her about it? I’m so excited for her visit that I almost feel like I’m going …
Comment by Kristen — June 20, 2008 @ 5:07 pm
What a wonderful tribute to your mom!
Sounds to me as though she certainly did something right when she raised you and your brother because of the love and admiration she inspires in you!
Hope you have a terrific visit with her and cherish every moment.
Comment by the Bag Lady — June 21, 2008 @ 5:38 am
Wow, you both are amazing. Rita for how she raised you and you for recognizing it. We all say that we did our best, but Rita really did. What a role model.I am a bit jealous.
regards,
Theresa
Comment by Theresa in Mèrida — June 21, 2008 @ 8:52 am
Oh, Kyle, your mom sounds wonderful! I knew that though as I read her blog too.
I hope you have a wonderful time together while she visits.
Comment by Reb — June 21, 2008 @ 7:14 pm
It was so great reading your post! I love hearing about people’s great family experiences. It’s like a little dose of chicken soup for the blog reader’s soul.
Jayna
Comment by Anonymous — June 22, 2008 @ 7:08 pm
I loved your post… and you surprise me when you said she is coming!
Enoy this time with her… both deserve each other, if u know what I mean… nice ppl u 2…
Btw, your post or your mother, or both, is very inspirador…
Comment by Irantzu — June 22, 2008 @ 8:26 pm
Now that I´ve met your mom I completely understand this post! She was amazing, so fun and youthful, boundless energy, that´s for sure. I´m glad I got to meet her, and it´s obvious how much you two care about each other. I hope you guys have a wonderful time together, and thanks again for inviting me to gringa get together!
Comment by Jessi — June 23, 2008 @ 7:36 am
What a wonderful post. I hope you and your mom have a great time together.
Comment by Ordinary Girl — June 23, 2008 @ 8:47 am
this is beautiful. I hope you have a wonderful time with your mom.
Comment by Bluestreak — June 27, 2008 @ 11:09 am
I know I’m a bit late on this, but I just wanted to let you know that you made me cry because this was so beautiful. Your mom really is wonderful; I will never forget how kind she was to me when we were living together, sending care packages with yours! I’m so glad you two are going to get to have some time together. Give her a big hug from me!
Comment by Jeannette — July 2, 2008 @ 3:36 am