Kyle Hepp

July 18, 2008

I’ve never been to New York City, but I hear that the pace of life there is insane. People walk so quickly that if you don’t keep up you better get out of the way. I always dreamed of living in a paradise like that. I’ve forever been a speed walker. When traveling in groups I usually end up blocks ahead, having to stop and sigh impatiently as I wait for people to catch up with me. S. is constantly asking me to slow down because he hates walking fast.

Since Santiago is also a booming metropolis I kind of expected the street speeds to be similar to N.Y.C. but boy was I wrong!

Santiaguinos do not speed walk. In fact, they barely even walk. I would consider what they do more like meandering or lallygagging than the act of walking.

The pace of this city is a snail’s — and probably an ill and dying and barely able to move snail at that.

One of the biggest causes of the aforementioned slowness seems to be the Chilean women’s desire to wear heels at all times, at all ages. I mean, we are talking women who are at least 180 years old shuffling their feet across the street in four inch heels. And those who are forced to wear comfortable footwear, or any kind of geriatric podiatry support on the feet, do so in the form of platform tennis shoes. Flats haven’t caught on. You’ll see the occasional ballet slipper or maybe even gladiator sandals on the rare fashionista in this country, but they’re few and far in between.

I don’t want to get too deep into this, but women here dress pretty provocatively — cleavage baring shirts, and pants that are so tight they cause both muffin top and camel toe are the norm. While I totally agree that people in the U.S. are totally over sexualized, it cracks me up when Chileans make comments on how bad that phenomenon is in the U.S. as if they were somehow immune to it. Umm, have you looked around the streets of Santiago lately?!?

So anyways, clubwear as officewear, as my friend Emily has commented on numerous occasions, is totally acceptable. That means, throw on your lacy/satiny/tiny tank and your hooker heels in the morning and you’re good to go!

This results in millions of women who can’t walk fast clogging the arteries of Santiago sidewalks.

That, in turn, results in me going crazy.

I often resort to walking in the actual street, preferring to dodge cars and micros (buses) than dodge this strange breed of snail people. When I’m in enjoyable happy places like forests and the beach, I’m happy to slow down and enjoy the scenery. But, when I’m on the polluted streets of Santiago, all I want to do is get from point A to point B and run my errands as quickly as I can. But, I’ve learned that in this country, getting anything done quickly, including just walking down the street, is nearly impossible!

19 Comments

July 16, 2008

Sometimes I really confuse Chileans with crazy gringas things I do. For example, I try to order takeout food. Try, being the operative word in that sentence. Ordering “To Go,” meals isn’t common, at all in this country. A few restaurants have started to catch on, like TGI Fridays or other places that gringos frequent. But, for instance, last weekend, I had a craving for the chicken from one of my favorite restaurants in Santiago, Pinch of Pancho. So I asked my husband to call and order and tell them we would walk over there and give them a container to put the food in and pick it up. I was working under the assumption that they wouldn’t have to-go containers. S.’s conversation with them lasted little over 10 seconds.

Him: “Hi, I’d like to order some food to take home with us. We’ll bring our own…”

Them: “We don’t do that.”

Him: “Ok, bye.”

That’s one thing about this country — they’re quick to say no, to anything you ask. Without even thinking about it, or wondering if they can try to help you in any way, if you ask for something that’s even a little bit out of the box, the knee jerk reaction is, “Nope, can’t do it. Goodbye.”

And Chileans are quick to take no for an answer. Because they expect the worst possible customer service when someone denies them what they want, they just hang their heads and carry on their sad little way.

So back to the food thing. Being the obnoxious gringa that I am, I told S., “Well call back, that’s ridiculous, why would they say no, when we’re asking if we can give them money in exchange for putting their food in our own box?!? Of course they can do it, it’s just a matter of talking to the right person.”

S. (begrudgingly) called back to argue on my behalf. He asked to speak to a manger, and when he put it in terms of, “We are trying to give your our money, why in the world would you say no?!?” the manager agreed.

We walked down to the restaurant, opened the door and said, “Hello, we’re here to order takeout food,” and guess what the hostess said? Yep, her immediate response, was, “No, we don’t do that.”

So eventually we got our food. But, I still don’t understand the no reaction. And this post is not just about takeout food. It’s about everything. In the U.S. in every job I ever worked, if someone asked me for something I hadn’t done before I would say, “Well, let me ask my boss and we’ll see what we can do.” The motto back home seems to be, if it’s all possible to help the customer, you should do it.

But, not in Chile. Here the motto is, “No. End of story.”

21 Comments

July 13, 2008

I guess this has been all over the news, but I somehow missed it.

Ha! And they say Chileans are prudes…

My only issues is that never again will I be able to touch a pole in the metro again. I mean, did you watch the video? I have zero problem with nudity, but huge issues with germs…and that girl’s vayjayjay was ALL up on the pole. This was basically the nail in the metro’s coffin for me. From here on out I’m taking a bath in bleach after every time I take public transportation.

10 Comments