Kyle Hepp

18 Comments

1. 

   the wounds are too deep… and we still have some horrible scars of our past as country. There’s still too much for us to learn before our people can recover trust.

   greetings

   Comment by j4ur14 — August 7, 2008 @ 6:00 am

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2. 

   It’s interesting to me that you’ve had so many people disagree with you on this. The first time I came back to Chile, I talked to Rodolfo’s classmates about how they’d treated me when I was studying abroad – basically ignoring me – as opposed to how nice they were once they realized I was here to stay. They said that for them it’s a combination of factors: exchange students (and I guess gringos in general) leave, so what’s the point in making friends with them; they already have their friends from colegio, their neighborhood, and university (unless us who move around all the time) so why do they need more friends; and just a general closed-ness. J4ur makes a good point that this is still related to the way Chileans treated each other during the dictatorship, with neighbors and friends turning each other in. But knowing that doesn’t necessarily make it easier when you’re trying to make friends here!

   Comment by Emily — August 7, 2008 @ 7:27 am

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3. 

   Literally every country in Latin America had a dictatorship at one point or another, many that were far more brutal than Chile’s.

   I mean, I’m not denying that’s a factor, but there has to be other reasons behind the trust issues.

   Comment by Mamacita Chilena — August 7, 2008 @ 7:38 am

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4. 

   Wow the statistics show that Ecuador isn’t much better either. I thought the ppl. here were much nicer right off the bat than in Chile though. Guatemala had a brutal civil war that ended in 1996 (the LONGEST civil war in Latin American history!) yet according to this chart, they are the most trusting. I just think that people in colder places are generally colder, no?

   Comment by kumichan83 — August 7, 2008 @ 8:25 am

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5. 

   Yeah Kumichan, definitely. Cold weather does seem to do that to people. Although in the U.S. it seems to depend on where you are. People in the Midwest are really friendly, in Michigan and Minnesota for example, where it’s freezing. But in N.Y.C. people are supposedly horrendously mean where it’s also freezing in the winter. Agh, who knows!

   And I did not know that about Guatamala, but that’s really interesting.

   Comment by Mamacita Chilena — August 7, 2008 @ 8:31 am

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6. 

   I’d be interested to know more demographics about who actually responded to this survey before I take it at face value. For example, what percentage of respondents live in urban areas vs. rural ones? Because compared with Chile, Guatemala is an extremely rural country. Chile has more large, densely populated cities, and I’ve seen studies before that showed rural people are generally more trusting than those who live in urban areas (no, I can’t cite the studies off the top of my head). So maybe we should take these statistics with a small grain of salt … but that’s not to say that what you experience isn’t real, of course!

   Comment by Lisa B. — August 7, 2008 @ 8:56 am

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7. 

   I think it is so interesting all that goes into the way that different cultures develop.

   Comment by Rachel — August 7, 2008 @ 10:44 am

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8. 

   I am not sure about the cold making people colder. Japan is much warmer than Canada, yet they are ranked 4th and we are 11th.

   I think J4ur14 has a valid point, it will take a few generations to get over the scars of your past.

   Good post Kyle. I’m sorry they aren’t friendlier.

   Comment by Reb — August 7, 2008 @ 5:50 pm

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9. 

   i think that in every country you can find cold people…and not have friends..not only here..

   and if you had so many people disagree with you on this maybe is because you should write “some chileans” not “chilean people”

   because as i wrote before in the same topic time ago… i feel the same with people from your country.. but now i know…that was just bad luck… i met incredible people in your country.. and also people i hope to forget.. I learn how to trust and make friends there.. and wasn`t easy..even when i can speak your language..

   I dont think it has to be related with your spanish or not…or in my case with my english..

   people are different here
   there.. everywhere..

   

   besos!

   Comment by Valentina — August 7, 2008 @ 7:03 pm

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10. 

    I think it´s totally correct that we don´t trust in people… at least, I don´t… but it´s not a rule… it´s just my start-point, and it can quickly change after I meet someone.
    I don´t know why I am like that… I know my mother is like this, and my father is the opposite, he trust in everyone, and that´s why he played the fool more than once.
    Maybe that´s the problem: in Chile the people will always try to get something from you, from a company, store, from the system itself… and if u are too good, too nice, too naive… they will take something from you.
    They, who? I don´t know, just “they”, some people out there in this beautiful country. Not everyone (Gott sei dank!) but more than 1…
    I beggin distrusting (that´s a verb, isn´t it?) until I check the person is really nice and not just pretending… Happily, it isn´t complicated to do that… or at least, I´m very fast, and don´t fail often.

    Comment by Irantzu — August 7, 2008 @ 9:27 pm

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11. 

    Well, at least you don’t live in Paraguay!

    Comment by PastaQueen — August 8, 2008 @ 9:53 am

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12. 

    Really good post. My experience with Chileans is severely skewed by the fact that I moved here six months ago with no Spanish. But I do agree with you based on what I’ve heard: one of my students, a middle-aged man from Santiago, has been living near Valparaíso for about 7 years. He told me that he hasn´t been able to make friends because the people are so closed off. He attributes it to our area, but it seems to me that that’s probably a biased perspective. However, to find that an extroverted, well-connected (business wise) Chilean man finds Chileans difficult to befriend….well….I left class that day pretty much thoroughly depressed. As in…”I have no chance!!!!” I’m starting to meet some Chileans, finally…(crossed fingers)

    But, as you know from my blog, the part i definitely have noticed is the hyper paranoia about crime. The sad part is that this stuff makes it into the guidebooks: check out any of the major ones and they’ll scare you off Valparaíso. So people go stay in the center of Viña….where you’re just as likely to get mugged at night.

    Anyway, thanks for linking to me, and for sending me Kacy!

    Comment by Meredith — August 8, 2008 @ 5:22 pm

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13. 

    Nice post. I am still sorting out who to trust and if I should answer lack of trust by lack of trust. On the other hand, the administration of the University does ask quite a lot of trust from me, asking me to sign receipt for money that I receive weeks later…

    One comment on your writing (but only because I am a bit maniac about those things, granted ):
    “Chile is actually ranked as the 19th most peaceful country in the world and the number 1 most peaceful country in all of Latin America. The United States is 97 on that list!”
    The second sentence makes sense only if you refer to the first list, while grammatically it refers to the last one mentionned, where the US have no place

    On a totally different topic: Would you take pictures of human model? I would like to recommand you to a Slovakian friend who lives in Santiago…

    Comment by jyby — August 12, 2008 @ 5:59 am

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14. 

    This is a really interesting topic. As a matter of fact, when you read this you’ll find that the pic next to the comment isn’t mine, but a fake one. That is a form of distrust (distrust on the internet? On the privacy policy of the web? Maybe).

    I want to address what j4ur14 said: we have really deep wounds from the dictatorship of Pinochet and how people used to tell the military that next door’s negihbor was a commie or something similar. And it lasted 17 years. Even today there are plenty of intelligence agencies that work primarily with informants, making people (like me) distrust the average citizen. However, there’s a big point in the culture that reigns on big cities and it’s that you can see a direct relationship in the level of development of a city and the level of distrust among its citizens -in Chile ’cause as far as I know this rule wouldn’t be able to be applied to european countries- instead the weather factor (which I think isn’t important at all). Colder cities like Valdivia, Paillaco, Lonquimay, Chiloé, Purén, Traiguén -to name a few- are well known for the kindness of their inhabitants and opennes to know and help people when needed despite the factor of material poverty in which they usually live compared to Santiago.

    To give a couple of examples: my gfriend is canadian and she was on an exchange program that brought her to Valdivia, a really beautiful city in the south of Chile. even though Valdivia is quite a big city, their inhabitants are really nice and my gfriend was able to make some friends while she stayed there for 10 months. However, now she lives in Santiago with me since december ’07 and has had a lot of troubles to make friends, being my relatives and my friends the ones she can rely on. So I’d say that the point isn’t “we, the chileans” but “we, the santiaguinos” or “we, the inhabitants of big cities”.

    And the other example: I was a volunteer of Un Techo Para Chile, an organization that tries to help people building shelters for them. As part of that ONG we usually went to poor regions of the country, and I got to know plenty of nice people, families that were really poor but that gave all they had in order to make us happy while we helped them with the shelter problem. Besides, my appearance by then was the one of a metalhead: extremely long hair, lots of facial hair and black t-shirts. But people there didn’t give a shit, they really cared of who you were and which were your feelings and morals. I can say that it was usual by then that when we were trying to find a place to buy cigarettes in the middle of nowhere, people approached us to know if we were lost and needed some help. That was the way the behaved and the way they thought how life is. So I decided to make a little “social experiment” on my comeback to Santiago. I was invited to a party on a wealthy neighborhood. I dressed just like I used to when I was working in the south and decided to go. As soon as I got off the bus and started to walk towards the house in which the party was held I started to look at the reaction of people in the neighborhood: they looked at me scared, as if I was to harm then or something. I decided to just say hi to anybody I’d see, just how the people in the southern and northern regions of Chile do. Just two (yes, only two) of them said hi back -old people by the way- and were courteous… 2 people out of 30 at least. That gave me a clue of our behavior in big cities and specially about the behavior of “cuicos”. Even today, with my “decent” haircut and nice appearance santiaguinos distrust me. And I won’t blame them: we live in a society in which everyday we are being literally spammed by the media that seems to only care about thieves, violence and aggresiveness. It doesn’t matter if somebody did something nice, they really don’t care. They just broadcast bullshit over the news and newspapers and also make us trust the net and places such as facebook, a place that is well known to gather information of its users and use it to spam them with advertisement. But that’s part of another big issue.

    Anyways, I won’t bother you anymore with my personal views and also would like to invite you (if haven’t already been invited) to check an ONG, be it Un Techo Para Chile or any other one in order to know nice places in my country that otherwise are really difficult to know since they aren’t “supposed” to be interesting for tourists.

    Take care and “WELCOME TO MY COUNTRY” (That’s the same line I drop to all the couchsurfers we host with my gfriend at home… that’s another cool website to help people, specially travelers)

    Gus

    Comment by Gus — September 23, 2008 @ 5:18 pm

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15. 

    Thanks for this excellent thread, a very interesting insight on our attitude toward gringos.
    After doing freelance jobs for US customers for a while, and currently hired by a gringo boss, you may agree with my 2 cents to this discussion.
    IMO, gringos are viewed by average Chileans as always-happy, easy going, confident. Some look like money-hungry, excessively pragmatic and rather cold (for Chilean standards, of course). In general, they are self-confident, friendly, easy to get along with, though some are as distant and cautious as many chilenos.
    A minority of politically left-sided Chileans may be influenced by Anti-USA propaganda regarding the environment, economic policy, Gulf war, or foreign relations with countries like Cuba, Venezuela or Middle East. Gringos may help these chilenos realize the difference between a country and individuals, and shift those prejudices for a friendly attitude.

    Of course many of us thinking like this don’t know whether the gringo/gringa is on a business trip with a tight schedule, a world traveller looking for his/her Dharma, a tourist just realizing his camera is lost, or just good people trying to get along with this curious country lying in the backyard of the world.

    Chileans keep old traces from a rural society: Half of the country lives in Santiago urban area, and Santiago’s current population ranks half way between N.Y. and L.A., with a couple of cities (Concepción, Valparaíso) with a population near Detroit or San Francisco. The rest of the Chileans are spread throughout the country in small cities less than 200000 inh.
    By rural I mean, slow paced, confident people, sometimes informal, generally warm and friendly.
    A small but increasing share of Chileans has enough educational level and salaries to forget a little about their basic needs, and is happy to open their mental window out to the world, learning new cultures and making foreign friends. The rest of Chileans, especially those from working-class or from the countryside, live in certain isolation from the outer world. They talk in slang and just can’t figure out how to deal with foreigners, and their reactions may be a surprise even for other Chileans.

    I just came cross an article on Inet saying that North America is a ‘masculine’ culture, where personal success, willing to build your own and some ‘killer instinct’ on business, are among their natural features. Latin America, on the other hand, was a ‘feminine’ culture, more aimed to human connections than material achievements, closeness to family, self-protection…in a few words, a big mother warning you “be careful, son” all your life.
    Many Chileans get rid of this, and you can tell them out if they said goodbye to family early, run their own business/careers, or go and say Hi with confidence to a gringa instead of staring her like a pervert.

    BTW, this is for gringa ladies: Chilean males are used to stare women anytime. It’s a flattering attitude, and 95% of those dumb-looking guys staring at you won’t dare to offend you in any way.
    A last tip for all gringos: A bit of sense of humor will help you a lot anywhere, specially in embarrassing situations with your Spanish or if you’re lost. Never mind of those gun-like faces if you did something wrong. Chileans are shy, and admire those able to laugh at themselves, so they will most likely laugh WITH you (not AT you) if you break the ice first.

    Comment by Anonymous — March 15, 2009 @ 12:15 pm

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16. 

    Anonymous, interesting. I have never heard North America referred to as masculline or Latin America referred to in feminine terms. It’s actually kind of funny to put it that way because in general, I tend to think of Latin America as a much more blatantly machista society. But then in some ways the women here promote the machismo even more than the men. Anyways, that’s a whole new can of worms to open up right there so I won’t get into it.

    Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment! I appreciate it and very much enjoyed hearing your thoughts on the subject.

    Comment by Mamacita Chilena — March 15, 2009 @ 1:47 pm

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17. 

    I have lived here for 11 years and the truth about this topic for me is self esteem. With self esteem you're offering value and this is of HUGE importance in this country. Since the country is in a self esteem crisis, people who have self esteem are true leaders. And you get what you are. Chile is pure opportunity. And there are a ton of good people here. Brave people…because the place has been isolated from the whole world for most of it's history. It's an island ( or was). And now the people are being called upon to integrate….without having had any experience with that…and little identity. The history of the “absent father” is powerful, since the native culture here was dominated by the “conquistadores”…and many many women were left without a head of their household. A true social disaster in the early years. Argentina is different because most of the natives were simply wiped out. The karma is different this side of the mountain. Chile has a bright future…because inside the people are great, and there are people willing to do the work on identity and to get to a strong self esteem. It will happen.

    Comment by Johnny135 — May 12, 2010 @ 10:04 pm

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18. 

    I was born in Chile but have lived overseas for over 40 years. I am just back to Australia after 4 weeks in Chile. My friends and relatives were generous and hospitable to me. I cannot say the same about Chilean people who did not know me, either in shops, restaurants, on the street, &c. It was so obvious to me that they do not trust strangers. When I went for a walk and said good morning to a passer-by I had a stare but no words. Shopping was particularly frustrating, especially if you compare it with friendly Buenos Aires. And then, of course, you need identity card, RUT, Notary certification that you are you. Why again?
    Why is this, I do not know. If you tell a Chileno this, they will reply that they are the friendliest people in the world, which is not so. It is a beautiful country, safe for current standards, now with a sound economy. Why? It would be good for Chileans to know so that they realise that Trust is vital in any society. And it is, of course, so inconvenient and expensive to live in a non-trusting society.

    Comment by Rudy555 — December 4, 2011 @ 3:18 pm

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