To say I’m not a kid person would be an understatement. At my family photo shoots, I do nothing in order to get the kids to be cheery and happy. I leave that up to the parents and simply chase, while doing my best to get good angles, light and smiles all at the same time. Trying to entertain as well, would be asking for disaster. Doing these family photo shoots is enjoyable most of the time, but always exhausting. Every time I finish, I think, “Wow, that was fun, but thank goodness I don’t have kids.”
Maybe someday that will change. Maybe one morning I’ll wake up and say, “I can’t wait to have a baby and dedicate my life to being a mother.” But, I’d be lying if I said I hope that happens. Right now I have a dog, which completely satiates any maternal cravings I might have.
Part of my lack of desire to have children stems from my yearning to have a wildly successful career. Now, I’m still not sure in what, but I’d love to be the next Annie Lebowitz or a less sappy Elizabeth Gilbert. I would like to work for the U.S. Olympic Committee or the World Cup Planning Committee. I’d enjoy building a multi-million dollar construction company with my husband and overseeing the business side.
But, I don’t think I’m being unrealistic in thinking that any kind of serious career building requires immense sacrifice, definitely more so on a woman’s part than on a man’s part. In fact, when I started googling the topic, I found a fascinating post by a professional blogger about it.
When men are in powerful positions at their jobs that require time and travel, the first thing they sacrifice is their family. If women have children, they cannot sacrifice their family. They don’t have the luxury of choice.
Sometimes I feel societal guilt for my lack of desire to procreate. But then I slap myself in the face and snap out of it. Really, the Earth is overpopulated enough as it is. I don’t think anybody will miss my spawn if I choose never to have them.
In some sense, I’m looking forward to our big trip because it will be a form of running away from that pressure. People aren’t going to look at two broke backpackers trudging across the world and ask them, “So, when are you thinking about hanging up your traveling hat, staying in one place forever and making babies?” I’m looking forward to having nobody asking me if I’m pregnant yet for the entire time we’re on the road. If anyone dares pose the question, I’ll punch him.
I’m not saying I will never have a baby. Because I never say never. Time changes people. And we’re still newlyweds. We’re not ready for kids right now, but maybe someday we will be. I mean, I once hated all dogs, and now I adore Papito with all my heart and soul. That little bitch has changed my life. And I have a feeling that if I do end up with a daughter, I’ll probably be able to say the same thing about her.