Fotografo de Bodas, Santiago

April 14, 2009

First of all, thank you to everyone who took the time to comment on my last post about Chileans at an individual level versus Chilean society as a whole. It was incredibly interesting to hear your answers and follow the debates (which turned into debates within debates). I’ve never kept track of how many comments each post gets, but I know that 87 comments must be some kind of crazy record, even if 15-20 of them were probably mine.

I am still waiting on my big news, and it just keeps getting bigger…but nothing I can share with you all yet. I’m sorry for those who have asked me. I don’t mean to keep you waiting, and trust me, I’m impatient too. But, if I blog about any of it too soon, I’ll jinx it!

And in other news, I mentioned the other day that I had lost one of my blogging jobs…well another one of my blogs also cut back. So basically my income will end up being cut in half. On one hand, I care, because well, it’s money. On the other hand, the whole thing has definitely made me sit down and reevaluate long term where I want to be. Do I want to be at other people’s mercy, getting my salary raised or lowered at will? Do I want to be freelancing, not knowing whether a piece will be accepted or rejected? Do I want to continue writing about topics other people tell me to write about, whether I find them cool or not? The uncertainty of being a non-contracted worker slapped me in the face this month. And yeah, the financial loss sucks big time. But, at the same time I felt a certain relief being fired from one and having less work to do for another. Churning out stories like a machine isn’t fun. It isn’t the kind of writing I’d like to be doing. And it ultimately made me question whether or not I’d like to be doing any kind of paid writing long term. If I could do it on my own terms about topics that interest me, of course! But how likely is that really? And as soon as I start blogging for another person about a topic that interests me that sort of sucks the fun out of it anyways.

The problem here is my budding photography business. I love it too much. It makes me realize how other things pale in comparison. I still like blogging, very much so. And if I had never picked up a camera I would probably even think I loved being a blogger.

At first when I started doing photography, I thought, “Maybe photography and I are in the honeymoon stage, and that’s why I’m so crazy about it.” But, come May 9th, I will have been working weddings and sessions steadily since the month of Jan. almost every single weekend — which has meant that because I’ve still been blogging professionally while trying to do this, I’ve sacrificed sleep and sanity for my photography. The honeymoon stage is over, and I still love it.

And of course, I’m spoiled by my clients. They let me do what I want to do and it’s so freeing. It’s not like a story where someone says, “Can you focus on this angle, could you write this piece up, can you quote such and such, could you do that and this and that too?” The majority of my clients have said, “We hired you because we trust you.” They don’t ask me to take pictures in a specific ways or to change what I do (although I naturally alter my style with every client because no two couples are the same and I try to create a session that fits each different personality). This is such a blessing and I realize that I have it SO good. I am ridiculously grateful to each couple as they put myself in their hands, and I always put my heart and soul into making sure that I do their love story, their wedding story, or their family story, justice with my photos.

I don’t really think of myself as creative. To me photography is actually a very non-creative art. Creative people are those who…wait for it…wait for it…CREATE. People who draw or people do graphic designs are creative because they take an idea in their head and they make it real. They create a tangible version of whatever is in their head. Photography, for me, is simply my way of showing people my vision of the world. I don’t have to create a whole new reality, I just have to show you mine.

Most of my clients are happy to let me do that. At my last meeting with a bride and groom, they said, “We trust you. We’re in your hands.” This total lack of constraints makes me elated, and excited and nervous all at the same time. And more importantly it makes me realize how much I do feel constrained with the type of professional blogging I do. I am always trying to write in the voice of whatever site I’m writing for. But photography is my voice, with no one there to tell me to reword the story. Yes, I love it. I’m more certain than ever that being a wedding photographer is what I was meant to do.

Then again, just 5 years ago, I was completely 100% convinced that I would one day work on the Olympic Organizing Committee for the U.S. And when I was 3, I was just as sure that I would be a mermaid when I grew up. So you know…things change. But at the moment, I’m as sure as I’ve ever been that photography is “the one,” because I’ve definitely never felt this way before about anybody.

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14 Comments

ok..so you're saying you're not creative. but I still think you're one talented photographer! Big time. What i like about your photos is; I can feel the happiness & love radiates from the brides and grooms. Your editing & techniques also make the pictures cool. Keep up the good work.

Comment by Shue — April 15, 2009 @ 2:17 am

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I’m so sorry about the loss of work. But it sounds like you’re taking it in stride. I guess we’re all getting the ripple effects of this economy. I’ve filled out over 15 job applications for just a simple summer job and still haven’t had anything come to fruition! But you’re right, in the end it’s just money. I know this makes your travel date seem a little more far away, but I’m so happy that you’re concentrating on the things you love–you’re an amazing writer but you really “sing” in photography. I hope one day that can be your passion and your business, but I somehow think that time isn’t too far off!

Comment by Amanda — April 15, 2009 @ 3:54 am

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Kyle,
Seriously, have you ever thought about becoming a journalist/photo journalist/travel writer? I know a lot of that is still freelance, but I think it might pay better than blogging (maybe?). Or even writing a book. You are really a talented writer. I think you could be successful at that. Of course, that’s not wedding photography, so it would be a different direction. But who knows. I bet Annie Leibowitz takes the occasional wedding photos.
Karen

Comment by Karen — April 15, 2009 @ 5:45 am

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I’m still super excited about the photography session coming up in August. I can hardly wait.

Reading your post reminds me of how much I miss taking daily photos. Sometimes it was a pain when the day was uninteresting, but it certainly made me try new things.

Once class is over I’ll be back to something regular.

Comment by Ordinary Girl — April 15, 2009 @ 7:50 am

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Thanks so much Shue! That’s why I am trying to do with my photos so I’m glad it shows through

UGH Amanda, 15 job aps, that stinks. Hopefully you’ll find a good one though! You’re talking about Austin, right? You guys aren’t going back to PA for the summer I’m assuming?

Karen, I have thought about it. Writing a book is one of my biggest goals in life. I just don’t know how to get started I guess. And for freelance travel writing I’ve applied for a few jobs here and there, but you’re right, maybe it’s time to start looking seriously for a gig like that. Thanks for the encouragement, I really appreciate it.

O.G., I know I can’t wait for Chicago!!!! I’m really excited too. It’s going to be crazy to meet after being blog friends for so long. And I know what you mean about missing it. Even during the weeks when I have no photo shoots I’m itching for the weekend so I can pick up my camera with a purpose. I’ve missed your regular sunset posts!

Comment by Mamacita Chilena — April 15, 2009 @ 8:56 am

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I agree with comments and your own thoughts about considering a focus on combining your photography, writing and travel– your love of all three shines through in what you do and you have the talent to back it up… The lack of security that comes with freelancing or pitching pieces is scary, a fear that plays a part in keeping me from trying to break free from wage jobs, but you roll with the punches so well that you seem quite capable of handling the stresses and appreciating the inherent freedom… As you probably know not all writing gigs are assignments– many freelancers try to pitch their stories and the internet’s multimedia capacity lends itself well to photojournalism (and videos), possibly moreso than just straight writing…

It also seems to me that you have a particular drive and focus which allows you to carve out your own path, a trait which I admire and envy… Following your capricious muse has gotten you this far and I suspect that if you continue to chase it you’re going to succeed because of you you are and what you’re capable of… I’m sorry to hear the purse-strings have tightened but I think you’re gonna come out on top in the end…

Comment by anxietyneurosis — April 15, 2009 @ 9:57 am

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Sorry you’ve lost so much work. Hopefully its a blessing in disguise.

However, doesn’t it seem like a good moment for your photography business to take off a bit more? Perhaps things are aligning to go in that direction? I hope so!

Comment by Maeskizzle — April 15, 2009 @ 9:58 am

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I disagree with you, I think (good) photography completely takes creativity. You have to be a true artist to see something from a different angle, and to be able to capture feelings and a storyline in photos? Not just any average-Joe photographer can do that. Plus all of the editing you do, you don’t call that creative? There is no way I could do that and have it turn out well. I think you are amazing and I hope your work keeps picking up

Comment by Lindsey — April 15, 2009 @ 2:11 pm

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Like I told you in an email recently, I definitely have a good feeling about you and your photography, you really have your own style and I have seen your photography just get better and better. And I have to say that I think you’re hugely creative! You’re creating with each and every photo you take, the angles, getting the lighting right, the location, the movement etc etc you decide how to take the photo, that is definitely being creative in my view and not to mention your photoshop art afterwards, you turn photos into something so unique and amazing! I wouldn’t worry about losing a few jobs in the blogging world, things happen for a reason and I think you’ll now have more time to focus on your one true passion!!

Comment by Tamsin Michelle — April 15, 2009 @ 2:30 pm

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Strange… I also was sure that they would invent a way to make me into a mermaid by the time I was 20. Hasn’t happened yet. Sorry about your blog jobs.

Comment by Sara — April 15, 2009 @ 3:21 pm

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“And as soon as I start blogging for another person about a topic that interests me that sort of sucks the fun out of it anyways” – I can relate to this statement so much. As you know I’m a decent seamstress and many people have suggested that I do that for a living or at making extra cash. But for me the fun sewing is picking out the pattern and fabric combination, envisioning the end result, working on the garment until it fits just right. The minute I even think about “having” to sew as a job I just shudder to think about it. Having to do it for someone else and for their tastes would totally take the fun right out of it.

P.S. – I agree with your other readers. I’m sorry you lost some income but it will make more time for your photog passion so maybe it’s just another door opening.

Comment by Rita — April 15, 2009 @ 6:12 pm

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Interesting to hear you say all that about writing, bc I’m going through a very similar phase/realization right now. Sorry to hear about your loss, but as others have said maybe it is for the best and bigger plans are ahead.

Loved reading your philosophy regarding your photography.

Comment by Lori - Blondie in Brazil — April 16, 2009 @ 7:19 am

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sorry to hear about the decline in writing engagements… Keep going with your Photography business. You are on to something!!

Comment by andreinchile.com — April 16, 2009 @ 10:05 am

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freelancing is a pain in the ass sometimes. i love it but eventually i too would like to sell my own product. i am still trying to figure out exactly what that product will be all i know is that i never want to work anywhere outside of my home again.

before i came to japan i hadn’t marketed for over a month because I was so busy and that severely affected my workload this month. granted after I started marketing again things picked back up but having to constantly market even at my busiest is a pain.

your photography business sounds like it is going really well though and i am sure good SEO will pay off in a few months! and active marketing online… not sure what you are doing to market your business but that could definitely make a big difference.

Comment by kumichan83 — April 23, 2009 @ 9:24 pm

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