Plain Vanilla

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April 2, 2009

The genius expat blogger Fned wrote a post on this a few weeks ago and I am shameless writing about her idea now. She inspired me and me think, like she always does, so thanks Fned!

Part of her post reads,

The more I think about it, the more I realize that Hubby and I are currently running exclusively on plain vanilla. Our careers, our cravings, our possessions, our health, our free time, our lives… everything is running right on schedule and precisely at an established level of satisfaction that should easily mean things are good and there is every reason to be happy.

And yet, somehow, something feels stagnated…

When I finished that post it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. Was Fned writing about my life? She’s in my head!!!!

The truth is, while I may not love living in Chile now, I did love being her for a time. The daily challenges I faced were so great, that every day felt like something had been accomplished — even if that accomplishment was just making it to the store, waiting in all the correct lines like a badass local who knows what she’s doing, having a conversation in Spanish where no party is left confused, and riding the micro home without having to double check if I was on the right one. First, all those things were hard work to me. Second, they became second nature, but I was still proud of the fact that they had become second nature. Now, they are what they are — simple errands. Life just is. Me living in Chile is no more exciting than you living in the U.S. or wherever you’ve been living, unless you’re somewhere new.

I’m sort of addicted to change. I’m am a total junky for challenges and I realize that unless I’m actively changing things in your life, I’m probably not totally challenged. If your routine has become totally “plain vanilla,” in the words of Fned, what’s scaring you? What’s motivating you along?

I enjoyed living in Chile in the beginning not because I was overwhelmed by the kindness of the people here, the awesomeness of the city of Santiago or because I thought the mountains were beautiful, but because I was so far out of my comfort zone that I was growing. Struggling to accept and understand cultural differences gave me a new perspective on life. And I loved that. Fear and discomfort drive us to move forward and make changes for the better in ourselves and our lives.

Admittedly, I am terrified to go on our trip around the world. TERRIFIED. What if we run out of money, what if we can’t find jobs when we’re done traveling, what if we can’t find a country we both really want to live in, what if we get robbed, what if I hate wearing the same outfit every single day, what if something happens to someone we love while we’re on the road and we can’t get back, what if I get sick of looking at S.’s face all day every day, what if he gets sick of looking at mine…oh wait that could never happen. :P Anyways, that’s a lot of “What if’s.”

But, in the end the what if’s that scare me the most are the ones about right now. What if we just stayed in Chile and lived this nice life that we have set up here? What if we kept going in our great careers and climbed steadily up the ladder? What if my life stayed like this always? I’m happy and fulfilled at the moment because I love what I do for a living and like I said, we have a great life in Chile. But right now I think the fulfillment I’m getting is because of the challenge of reaching our goal of traveling around the world. After that I’ll need something else to get me out of my box. Perhaps another country, another language and another set of cultural differences to learn will do it. But then I have to wonder, in order to stave off the plain vanilla life, do I have to keep switching countries? Is that the only way to do it in order to not feel stagnated?

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6 Comments

  1. I worry about this too. Since I was 18 I’ve been bopping around from place to place. Now that I want to settle down for a bit here in Sgo, I worry that I won’t like the sedentary lifestyle. Although I think it’ll be a little while before Sgo is plain vanilla for me.

    I think your trip around the world is just what you need, though. It will give you a chance to get away from the plain vanilla and hopefully find a place where you and S. want to live. I think there are ways to challenge yourself without having to change countries every couple of years (at least I hope to god there is!!).

    Comment by Abby — April 2, 2009 @ 1:58 pm

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  2. I can really relate to your comment about being addicted to change. I feel the same way. When I was younger I hated change – grade school to high school, then to college. It took me so long to adjust and I didn’t want anything new. Then as an adult all of a sudden I crave change. I have to have it or I go crazy which is why I like to travel so much to change my scenery.

    But then when it comes to living I really get sick of a place after about 3 years. So I wonder if I will ever find a place that I truly love and want to live in long term. We’ll see.

    I think you are going to learn a ton about yourself with this trip.

    Comment by Lori - Blondie in Brazil — April 2, 2009 @ 3:26 pm

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  3. I love vanilla. The stuff that comes in the little bottle and, oddly enough and more and more, the lifestyle that it connotes. I hardly ever get bored and I always like to think it’s because I’m so fascinated by small stuff like breakfast cereals and house smells.

    I feel like there are lots of ways for me to stay in one place and not feel like I’m stagnating, but I’m guessing that’s not true for you. Because normally I’d say in order to not stagnate you have to find love in the day-to-day — but you have a great deal of that, a lot of work to do and things to think about and reach for — and you still ache for more. I don’t really have any answers, but I think it’s fantastic that you can find joy in the details but still reach for the grand.

    Comment by Carrie — April 2, 2009 @ 3:30 pm

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  4. Get sick of your travel clothes?!?!? Now thats just crazy talk. Everybody knows that when you travel you subconsciously pick out an outfit to wear over and over everyday and later you’ll look at millions of pictures over 5 continents that look like they were taken in one shoot and wonder why you never changed clothes.

    Comment by lydia — April 2, 2009 @ 4:30 pm

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  5. Wow! I wasn’t able to log on to my news feed for this past week and I come back to find you’ve posted 14 new posts!!! Yeay!!!!!! Can’t wait to catch up!

    Your post about Plain Vanilla is so good! I only was able to write about the boring mechanics in my post, but you really describe the EXACT sentiment of what plain vanilla feels like in yours!:

    “…I enjoyed living in Chile in the beginning (….) because I was so far out of my comfort zone that I was growing….”

    If you replace Chile by France in that phrase you sum up my entire sentiment on the subject. Factor in Lori’s comment and you’ve got the word by word definition of “Fned’s current frame of mind”.

    Still, S and you have your world trip to look forward to. I think that qualifies for AT LEAST chcolate fudge and whipped cream.

    I think change can come in a lot of ways… allthough the most drastic is obviously a change of environment (ie moving to a new country) it also comes from seeing new things while you’re travelling. You are suddenly confronted with things and situations you’d never realized existed before and just suddenly being aware of how these new things play a part in the grander scheme of things will make you feel that you are growing.

    Until I traveled to Spain was I really able to comprehend the inmense influence of the Spanish culture in Latin America, until I traveled to Ireland and England was I able to understand to what degree these countries shaped what today is the USA, until I traveled to Japan was I able to understand to what degree the end of WWII played a part in the technological revolution that spread to the world in the 70′s and 80′s… the list is infinite and it’s when you have one of these “illuminating” moments while you’re on the road that you realize that you have grown a little bit wiser, a tiny bit more intelligent… and you feel alive and happy and sooooooo NOT plain vanilla!!

    xoxoxoxo’s,
    Fned.

    Comment by Fned — April 3, 2009 @ 11:46 pm

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  6. Life is life, wherever you are.. The only person with you until the day you die is you.

    Live with it. You’re kidding yourself if you think you’re happy with your current life.

    Comment by Anonymous — April 4, 2009 @ 1:42 pm

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