Kyle Hepp

May 13, 2009

Now that I live in Providencia I meet so many Gringas on a regular basis. I have to admit, I’ve started categorizing them in my head.

1. Exchange Student Gringa: The most common, she is usually here for 6 months, sometimes intent on only partying, sometimes obsessed to the point of fanatical with making Chilean friends, easily offended when Chileans don’t reciprocate the same sentiments, blissfully unaware of the fact that Chileans have no good reason to hang out with someone they know is peacing out of the country in such a short time. Goes through the 4 stages of culture shock at the speed of light (awe and wonder, frustration, homesickness, acceptance, I think are the 4).

2. ESL Teacher Gringa: She’s probably the second most common, but her time frame is generally extended for about a year. Also hoping to make Chilean friends and learn the culture, she’s less craaaazy about it because she has more time in which to achieve her mission. Considers herself an full-blown expat, although I consider these kinds of gringas more like haxpats (half expats).  If you still have furniture and a bed to go back to in the U.S., or other country of origin, meaning you are planning on restarting your life there sooner rather than later, I do not consider you a full-blown expat. Yeah, you can argue with me on that all you want, that’s just my own definition.

3. Fullblown Expat Gringa Who Geniunely Likes the Country of Chile: I know very little about this creature, because I know very few of this kind. These women are here for a love of the culture and are planning on staying indefinitely — not because of ties to a man or family — simply because they like living in Chile.

4. Just Married In-Transition Gringa: These are ladies who marry their Chilean fiances in Chile, either for financial reasons (the average wedding in the U.S. costs over 20k, and while I’m not sure how much the average wedding in Chile costs, but it’s probably much less than that) and or for visa reasons. It’s often easier for them to do the paperwork to get their husband into the U.S. legally if they marry here. So they tie the knot, live here in a transition period while they’re getting things ready, and then move back.

5. Gringa Who’s Here For a Chilean Man: I know more of this kind of Gringa than any other. And we’ve written about them before. Chilean men attract Gringa women to them like a trash can attracts the kiltros. These ladies usually come to Chile an Exchange Student or ESL Teacher Gringa, meet someone they love and then come back to live permanently or semi-permanently.

6. Fake Chilean Gringa: These Gringas are usually girls who were born in Chile or have one Chilean parent, but grew up in the U.S. and are now coming back to their roots. They’re not actually fake Chilean, that’s a mean way of putting it — but they’re not actually full Chilean either because culturally they tend to act more U.S.American.

7. Over-Excited Vacation Gringa: They come for a few days, a few weeks, wander around wide-eyed, get robbed and tell their friends about their exciting experience in a dangerous South American city  and then they’re all, “OMG, I love Chile sooooooooooo much! It’s amazing! I would just LOVE to live there!!!!” because they didn’t actually deal with anything real-life related while they were here. Then they leave and soon Chile is nothing but a distant memory and an exotic vacation story.

8. Divorced Gringa: Was once a number 5, had kids, and now stays in Chile even after a divorce so that her kids can grow up near their Chilean dad.

9. High School Gringa: Huh??? Yeah, there’s not very many of these, but they’re usually here on rotary. Or her mom just randomly shipped her to the farthest away foreign country she could think of for the summer because she couldn’t deal with her bratty teenage daughter one second longer. Either way.

10. I Think I’m a Chilean, Gringa: These Gringas, more often than not, fall into the category of number 1, 2, or 3, but instead of just wishing they had Chilean friends, they try to act as if they were Chilean. They’ll sequester themselves from any other expat contact, wear fanny-packs and will tell anyone who’ll listen that they’re living “an authentic experience.” Personally, this kind of Gringa annoys me. She will often live in a ghetto neighborhood just because she thinks she’s hardcore. But she’s not. Only the next kind of Gringa is.

11. Hardcore Gringa aka Dictatorship Gringa: Yes, these ladies would mostly fall under Gringa Who’s Here For a Chilean Man, but, honestly, if you’ve been here since the Salvador Allende days and stayed or arrived at any given point during the Pinochet dictatorship, you deserve your own category.

I myself was first a #9, then a #1, then a #5, then a #10 until I annoyed myself so much I went back to simply being a #5. Do you fall into one or more of these categories? And am I missing out on any certain group of Gringas in Chile?