July 17, 2009
When I met up with the guy who hit me, it definitely brought some closure to the whole thing for me. Mentally I’m definitely moving on. However, phsyically, I am still having a small problem with the allergic reaction that brought me back to the emergency room just a week after the accident. This means, I’m still going back to the hospital on a regular basis to be poked and prodded. I’ve done pee tests, poop tests, blood tests, throat tests, pretty much everything you can think of. I would not be exaggerating if I said I’ve been in basically every wing of the Clinica Santa Maria in the past three days (we’re on a Japanese speeding bullet train pace trying to figure this out before we leave on our trip so we have to get everything done now).
Going back to the hospital takes me back. However, lately, that hasn’t necessarily been a bad thing. Thinking about all that happened, actually made me feel good — not good that I got hit by a car, but that I never once felt homesick during the entire ordeal. That may seem like a strange thing to be grateful for, but any expat knows that during a time of crisis, homesickness often rears it’s ugly head. Being away from those who know and love you is hard in the best of times, and can be devestating in the worst of times — be it something bad that happened to you or something bad that’s happened to someone you care about when you aren’t able to be there for them.
I really never had one of those moments where I felt like, “I would feel so much better going through this near my family,” or “I want to leave Chile.” I did have a few moments, of Holy hell, CHILE IS TRYING TO KILL ME. And yes, I was screaming, “I HUUUUUUUUUURT, I WANT MY MOOOOOM,” while laying on a stretcher in the hallway at the public hospital before S. got there. But, I don’t actually remember that because I was in shock, so it shouldn’t count.
I’ve long since considered S. my family, as well as my in-laws. In the past two years I’ve built up a solid group of friends I know I can count on. I know that I now have a great support system here. But, it never hit me as hard as it did today at the hospital while I was remembering my stay in Intensive Care and then regular care (and still trying to remember more details) — I have made a life for myself here. And it happened without me even noticing.
For a long time in Chile, I struggled, trying to make more friends, both Chilean and expat because I didn’t have many amigos of either flavor. I was putting in conscious effort trying to make a life here — looking for a long term job in the Chilean workforce, hoping to find people I could relate to on any level. I was lonely.
And then without me even noticing, I wasn’t lonely anymore. I had people I could relate to, not just because we both happened to be expats in Chile, but because we had things in common. I was happier. I never did get that elusive job in the workforce here, but I’ve made my own spot in the Chilean economy as a wedding photographer, which has definitely allowed me to meet and connect with really cool people, Chilean, Brazilian, Gringo, Canadian, that I would have otherwise never met. I went to Chilespouse meetings to chat/learn from people who have been here both for way longer and much shorter than I have. I blogged more, found both online and offline connections with other bloggers. And while I kind of feel like all of this happened overnight, it didn’t really. The truth is that I’ve put a lot of time and energy into cultivating friendships and building a network around me.
When I got hit, all those people came together, lifted me up and carried me through. S., of course was so good taking care of me, although that goes without saying. And his mom treated me as she would’ve treated her own child, had something like this happened to one of them. But, what amazed me was that I blinked, looked around, and BAM, I was supported by friends and family who cared about me. I knew that I had people supporting me, but I don’t think I ever fully appreciated them until now. I may have sub-consciously known that I made a life here, but the accident not only made me grateful for who I have in my life, but it made me proud.
Chile hasn’t been an easy place for me to live. I don’t always like it, let alone love it. But, I am proud of my life here because it was hard to build and I did it. I’m proud to be friends with such good people who will support someone in a time of need, make sure she’s taken care of in every aspect. I’m proud of my blog readers for being the kinds of people who will support a total stranger (who’s finishes his first semester this week) and show so much love and kindness in the sincerity of their words (thank you, thank you and thank you again) to a random girl in Chile who writes a blog that they just happen to read. And I’m proud of myself, in large part for not dying — although I’m sure it had more to do with other factors, but the doctor did say that being in shape had a lot to do with the minimal extent of my injuries and how quickly I’ve healed. I’m proud of myself for the way I’ve handled this even though it’s been extremely difficult — not always gracefully, but I’ve handled this the best I can and that’s really all we can ask of ourselves.
Now, if you’ll excuse me for a minute, I’m going to go run through the streets of Estacion Central waving my hands in the air and screaming, “CHILE, YOU’LL NEVER KILL ME!!!!”
Until I get assaulted again. 
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- @dregonzrob, hahaha, eating wall paper, that's a new one. Dog whisperer dato coming your way :)
- @lanapuckett, when we get back I'll have to introduce you to @gabrielrodriguez, @sebamilla and @sebastiankaulen!
- @dregonzrob, you need the dog whisperer!!!
- Brian McBride is announcing his retirement from the game today. He will go down in history for me as my favorite U.S. player ever. LOVE him.
- Caroline and Tommy should probably stop being this hot or somebody's going to catch on fire. http://tinyurl.com/2feozcy
- Writing w/ @imnotobsessed tomorrow early! Love catching people up on their daily dose of gossip and I <3 @inosherry, my online co-worker :)
What a beautiful tribute to your loved ones. If you exude love, love will surround you and it sounds like that is the case for you in Chile. Here's to a fast healing recovery! XO
Comment by GlobalButterfly — July 18, 2009 @ 9:19 am
Nice Kyle….i like it!
take care and hope your feeling better
Catch you sometime
Saludos
Gardner Hamilton
Comment by gardnerhamilton — July 19, 2009 @ 10:07 am
Your post made me feel good. I'm glad I read it and I'm glad you are feeling better.
Comment by Sara — July 19, 2009 @ 7:12 pm
I am so happy and envious that you've built your life in a new place. Good on ya!
I hope you get back into tip top shape for your trip!
Comment by Decoybetty — July 19, 2009 @ 10:27 pm
I'm glad to hear you smiling again. How's little Papito doing these days?
Comment by Still Life in South America — July 20, 2009 @ 6:38 pm
I'm glad to hear you smiling again. How's little Papito doing these days?
Comment by Still Life in South America — July 21, 2009 @ 1:38 am
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