Kyle Hepp

July 9, 2009

I recently came across this post on Divine Caroline about 10 things I wish I could tell my younger self. Past-Kyle wasn’t living such a bad life at all, but Present-Kyle has it a lot better. So I thought I’d make my own list of things that Present-Kyle would definitely want to tell Past-Kyle.

1. Always look both ways before crossing the street, even if you have a green light to cross. Self-explanatory.

2. People are NOT always talking about you or thinking about you or looking at you. When I was little I used to be SO convinced that people in the grocery store or the bank were looking at me and giggling and whispering. Or I thought that whenever my friends weren’t with me they were probably hanging out talking shit behind my back.  Now I know, most people are so wrapped up in themselves that they really don’t give a crap about what you are doing — unless you’re truly doing and/or wearing something outrageous. I’m glad I’ve realized that. It makes me feel a lot more free. I think most people judge us way less than we think they do.

3. Some people in this world aren’t going to like you — get over it. My mom used to tell me this all the time. Too bad I never listened to her! There are people out there who are rude, or mean or who you simply don’t jive with. You don’t have to be friends with them. They don’t have to like you and vice versa. There are enough people out there who will like you that the ones who don’t will be nothing more than an insignificance in your world, unless you let them become something more — and then that’s your own fault.

4. Michael Jackson will eventually stop making amazing music, become “eccentric,” and then die — enjoy him mockery and sadness free while you can!!!! I know I’m a little late to the game in talking about MJ, but cut me some slack, I haven’t had internet the past couple days. When I was a kid I was the biggest MJ and Janet Jackson fan I knew. I used to wear (WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE) t-shirts with their pictures on them to school when I was in oh say, 2nd-6th grade. I had one of MJ in his signature crotch-grabbing move, and another of Janet topless. I was a classy kid. I had all the cassettes, then CD’s and DVD’s of his music and videos. I know how to do the moonwalk. Yeah, that’s right. I still ocassionally bust it out at parties.  Back then, I thought Michael and Janet were immortal. Even as Michael’s life became stranger and stranger I was still rooting for him. Diabolina said it best her poignant tribute to the King of Pop when she said, “With every year and every scandal, my heart broke as my first crush, the most gifted performer of my generation, systematically tarnished such a magnificent legacy.” I am still shocked that Michael’s gone forever.

5. The Perfect Man does not exist — call off the search or prepare to be severely disappointed.

6.  Being smart with your finances isn’t as hard as it seems. With all the vocab, money market accounts and stocks and bonds, I used to think that only rich people with financial advisors knew about all that stuff. Now, thanks to the internet, anyone can educate themselves. And besides, the basics are so easy — earn more than you spend. There’s really not much too it. I don’t know why I used to feel so overwhelmed by money in general.

7. There’s no shame in quitting some things. I can fully blame my mother for this one — she would not let me quit anything, EVER.  And while I’m grateful she made me stay with flute and piano and cheerleading and soccer and everything else I did as a kid, as an adult I had a sense of shame if I quit anything. Just switching my major over from International Business to Sports Management in college gave me migraines because I felt like I was being a quitter. While I was trying to make the decision my mom would appear in my nightmares and tell me to, “See it through until it’s OVER!” Now, I’m happy to report that if something’s not working, I don’t feel an obligation to see it through. Granted, you shouldn’t give up on things just because they’re hard, but what I’m trying to say is, “Don’t bang your head against a cement wall if it’s not breaking.” Or something like that. If it’s a bad idea, it’s a bad idea, whether you quit, or see it through. When I was first trying to get into photography professionally in Chile, I thought having a studio would be a good idea. We built a small studio upstairs in S.’s parents’ house. Then I learned that A. I don’t really like studio photography. And B. Clients will absolutely not pay money to come to a studio in Estacion Central. So I quit doing studio photography. And I felt reaaaaaaally guilty at first. But honestly, it was a bad idea. However, I wouldn’t have known that if I had’t tried.  I would have been silly (and not even close to where I am right now with wedding photography) had I not learned from that and then moved on, rather continue trying to stick a square plug into a round hole.

8. You’ll never be the best (or the thinnest, or the prettiest, or the smartest, for that matter) — again, get over it. I’ve written an entire post on this subject so I won’t go too far into it. But, I wish I had learned at a younger age that setting goals ridiculously, IMPOSSIBLY high (one of my childhood goals was, become CEO of a major company and make enough money to OWN AN ISLAND), that in and of itself is great! Being heartbroken and beating yourself up if you can’t reach your impossible goals is not that great.

9. Just go with it. My life plans certainly did not include marrying a Chilean or becoming a photographer. At a certain point, you really have to throw all your pre-conceived ideas out the window about what life would be like when you were older. Once you do so, and just accept that the future is uncertain and all you can do to make the outcome what you were hoping for  is everything in your power, no more and no less, life is way less stressful.

10. I don’t have a tenth one, I don’t even have 9 real ones, that’s why I had to throw #1 and #4 in there. Damn you Past-Kyle for being such an overachiever that you demand 10 things on your list so that you can follow them to a T and then beat yourself up if you cannot do every single one. And damn you Present-Kyle for being such an underachiever that you can’t be bothered to care if you haven’t actually finished this blo