Kyle Hepp

October 19, 2009

I’m still adjusting. Seba, not so much. He just …is adjusted. Always. To anything. Not matter where we go or what we do.

I need time to digest things and really feel them.

Like right now for instance. It feels so surreal to be back in Chile. Walking down the streets, I can’t believe we’re here again. Yet I am simultaneously feeling like we never left.

I think I need a photo shoot to make me feel like myself again. Fortunately we have 3 shoots + 1 wedding this weekend so I should be back to normal in no time.

Going back, for the past two years I’ve been busy busy busy with more work than I could keep up with. Seba too. Then all of a sudden CRASH — it all came to an end — with a literal crash. Getting hit by a car sidelined me and forced me to rest. I quit all but one of my blogging jobs. Seba had been voluntarily laid off from his job just two days before. But I didn’t have time to think about what not-working was like. Our house was filled with visitors, constantly in and out, to the point where I had to start telling people they couldn’t come over simply because I needed some time to rest.

Then I recovered and we went to Europe. I wasn’t working much because I wasn’t supposed to be. We were on vacation. I quit my last blogging job.

We came back to Chile. This weekend we came out to the beach house for asados and celebrations with Seba’s family. I sat in the sun all day yesterday. All day. And drank some champagne. And then sat in the sun and read. And then sat in the sun and played with Papi. And then sat in the sun and slept. It kept crossing my mind — shouldn’t I have something that urgently needs to be done right now? Can I really afford to be sitting here wasting a whole day without working? Isn’t there something I should be stressing about?

And the truth is that no — I don’t need to be stressing. For right now, we have everything pretty organized. We’re ready for the wedding season to start and we’ll be able to keep everything under control. We have enough weddings booked that we won’t get bored, but not so many booked that we’ll get burnt out. But above and beyond even that — we are in total control of our time. So whether we’re busy or not, we’re working because we want to. Because we said, yes, we will shoot a wedding on this date or have the photos ready by this date.  If we want to take any days of rest we can. Our only deadlines are self imposed. It feels so good!