Fotografo de Bodas, Santiago

November 26, 2009

See Part I in the post right before this.

I didn’t lose the weight until I got into college, and when I did, it was perfect timing. I had just started to “experiment,” as parents like to say – and by “experiment,” I mean binge drink and go clubbing on school nights. Clubbing required short skirts or jeans so tight they looked painted on, so the men could ogle and you could then run to your friends, screaming in disgust about the creep-o that just tried to dance with you. I was thrilled with my new body and happy to have a place to show it off. I jogged every night while I was losing weight, rain or shine, on the track at University of Tampa, even if that meant hitting the pavement at 2am slightly tipsy. I’d run it off. When I went into the dressing room at Express with a size 10 pair of jeans I had to ask the sale associate to bring me a size 8. Those were too big as well. All through high school, I had varied between a size 12 and size 14. When she brought me a size 6 and it fit, I cried.

By the time I came to Chile I really into line dancing. I had a couple different cowboy hats, but the one I chose to wear on the 10 hour flight down from Miami to Santiago was pink. I should mention that I also had platinum blond hair at the time. I had bleached it right before leaving. People on the plane stared and I smiled back. When I set foot in Chile’s main airport, the taxi drivers, who are normally aggressive with any tourist, flocked to me like flies to honey.

The night I met Seba, I went to his birthday celebration with a girl I wasn’t close friends with. I didn’t feel like going out that night, but was trying to get to know more of the people on my study abroad program, so I made a half hearted effort at getting dressed for the party. I wore black pants, black drugstore eyeliner, and a fire engine red sweater, that I had gifted to my mom for Christmas one year and she had gifted back to me because she thought the sleeves were too small. Seba didn’t stop staring for two hours straight. When I left, he chased me out the door to get my phone number. He was wearing a red that said, “Sunshine State,” referring to Florida, so worn you could practically see through it and a crown from Burger King.

After he proposed to me, I started the search for the number one most important item on every bride’s list – the dress. I went to a small boutique store in Clearwater, and found a nude colored, knee length flapper dress. It was $700 and was the cheapest dress in the store. I loved it. I called Seba to tell him I had found “The One,” and when I described it to him, he said in a small voice, “But I always imagined you walking down the aisle in a long white dress.” WELL MAYBE HE SHOULD’VE TOLD ME THAT BEFORE I BOUGHT A NON-REFUNDABLE NON-WHITE WEDDING DRESS!!! I brought Molly with me when I went to try to take said non-refundable dress back to the store because she’s one of those women who can get salespeople to do anything. She did it. They let me exchange my dress for a long, white, sparkling, Pronovias designer gown, that I got for less than half its original price since it was the sample, though still far beyond my $700 budget. I still adore that dress. I sold it on Ebay. I don’t need it in my closet. I can adore it from the photos.

I was wearing black stretch yoga pants, hand me downs from Molly, that my mom had hemmed too short, and the same blue shirt I always wore to go running the Sunday night I got hit by a car. They cut the pants off me while I lay in the street bleeding. The shirt I threw away while I was still in Chile. And when I got to the U.S. this past August and realized I had accidentally packed the socks I was wearing that day (I know it was them because they were ripped to shreds), I started screaming that they were cursed and I threw them in the small bonfire my mom and stepdad were burning out on the deck. I don’t want reminders of that moment around me. I’m happy to look back on the incident as a third party reporter and say, “Wow, it’s so amazing that girl survived!” but I don’t want to see anything reminding me of the fact that I was actually there.

Then we went to Europe and I was so busy looking at what other people were wearing, forgetting what I was wearing that Sunday night, that if it weren’t for the pictures I wouldn’t even remember what I was wearing.

Now, I’m sitting on my bed in pink Victoria’s Secret sweatpants and a sweater from H&M wondering what I’ll have on for the next big monument in my life. Probably nothing, if I follow life’s typical path and the Next Big Step is making a baby. However, somewhere along the way I’d like to think that I’ll be wearing some kind of gorgeous designer heels, Jimmy Choos, or Louboutins or Manolos, when I’m named Best Photographer in the Whole Wide World.

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I absolutely LOVED these posts. Please keep them coming! Who did you go to prom with? I'm thinking JK but am I wrong?? Miss your face. xox.

Comment by Hulie — November 26, 2009 @ 8:02 pm
[...] Love, Loss and What I Wore, Part II « Kyle Hepp [...]

Pingback by In the Middle of Training for Triathlon Events | attarweb.com | Triathlon Leisure Knowledge — November 26, 2009 @ 8:29 pm
Entertaining post. I love clothes! Hope you're enjoying Bs.As. The shopping there is supposed to be fabulous! saludos

Comment by maeskizzle — November 27, 2009 @ 6:51 am
Oh I COMPLETELY agree. When one is named something as monumental as greatest photographer in the world, SHOES are NUMERO UNO on the priority list!

I'm obsessed with finding the ones for my wedding. Red please!

Comment by Andrea Gonzalez — November 27, 2009 @ 7:57 am
Good reflections.

Comment by uniquelyordinary — November 27, 2009 @ 1:28 pm
Loved, Loved, Loved these posts!!! I am soooooooo aware when it comes to clothes too; usually I remember very clearly what people wear, when they wear it, how they wear it, what I am wearing….. Even though I'm no fashionista (black, grey, white, jeans is my motto) I do agree that the clothes we wear in those monumental moments of our lives become an invariable part of the memory of those events.

Great posts!
Fned.

Comment by Fned — November 27, 2009 @ 9:08 pm
i loved reading these posts. it was like hanging out with kyle again i miss you! and you are also a great writer, fyi.

Comment by Emita — December 1, 2009 @ 10:43 am
Loved this post. I also love that you wanted a flapper dress for your wedding. You sound like my kinda girl!

Comment by Lesley — December 9, 2009 @ 8:09 am
Girls Dress,Lavender Satin Dress,Satin Dress,Pink Silk Dress,Children's Wear,Children Clothes,Children Garments from China.
http://www.childrengarment.com/Girlsdresses1.html

Comment by tonybuy — December 29, 2009 @ 4:37 am