Comments on: My Perspective http://www.kylehepp.com/2009/11/my-perspective/ Latin America Destination Wedding Photographer and Blogger Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:22:26 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Mary http://www.kylehepp.com/2009/11/my-perspective/comment-page-1/#comment-6990 Mary Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:50:18 +0000 http://www.kylehepp.com/?p=1275#comment-6990 Yes, my father-in-law's dynamic with his Chilean family/friends is a little odd, but I don't think too weird. My in laws came to the U.S. for him to go to grad school back in the late 60s and then he got a pretty demanding job with Washington, DC, which he stayed at until just a few years ago. I think, with all the long work hours and travel, he never had the time my mother in law did to develop those relationships here in the U.S. Also, that job had him traveling a lot to Chile and still in regular contact with Chileans in a way that most Chileans living in the U.S. would not have. Plus, like a lot of men of his generation, he really depends on his wife to sort of take care of that for him, and there is some weird family of origin baggage happening too. So, lots of things to keep him tied to Chile, rather than fully assimilating. Yes, my father-in-law's dynamic with his Chilean family/friends is a little odd, but I don't think too weird. My in laws came to the U.S. for him to go to grad school back in the late 60s and then he got a pretty demanding job with Washington, DC, which he stayed at until just a few years ago. I think, with all the long work hours and travel, he never had the time my mother in law did to develop those relationships here in the U.S. Also, that job had him traveling a lot to Chile and still in regular contact with Chileans in a way that most Chileans living in the U.S. would not have. Plus, like a lot of men of his generation, he really depends on his wife to sort of take care of that for him, and there is some weird family of origin baggage happening too. So, lots of things to keep him tied to Chile, rather than fully assimilating.

]]> By: Mary http://www.kylehepp.com/2009/11/my-perspective/comment-page-1/#comment-5060 Mary Wed, 11 Nov 2009 01:50:18 +0000 http://www.kylehepp.com/?p=1275#comment-5060 Yes, my father-in-law's dynamic with his Chilean family/friends is a little odd, but I don't think too weird. My in laws came to the U.S. for him to go to grad school back in the late 60s and then he got a pretty demanding job with Washington, DC, which he stayed at until just a few years ago. I think, with all the long work hours and travel, he never had the time my mother in law did to develop those relationships here in the U.S. Also, that job had him traveling a lot to Chile and still in regular contact with Chileans in a way that most Chileans living in the U.S. would not have. Plus, like a lot of men of his generation, he really depends on his wife to sort of take care of that for him, and there is some weird family of origin baggage happening too. So, lots of things to keep him tied to Chile, rather than fully assimilating. Yes, my father-in-law's dynamic with his Chilean family/friends is a little odd, but I don't think too weird. My in laws came to the U.S. for him to go to grad school back in the late 60s and then he got a pretty demanding job with Washington, DC, which he stayed at until just a few years ago. I think, with all the long work hours and travel, he never had the time my mother in law did to develop those relationships here in the U.S. Also, that job had him traveling a lot to Chile and still in regular contact with Chileans in a way that most Chileans living in the U.S. would not have. Plus, like a lot of men of his generation, he really depends on his wife to sort of take care of that for him, and there is some weird family of origin baggage happening too. So, lots of things to keep him tied to Chile, rather than fully assimilating.

]]> By: kyleracine http://www.kylehepp.com/2009/11/my-perspective/comment-page-1/#comment-5030 kyleracine Mon, 09 Nov 2009 01:43:39 +0000 http://www.kylehepp.com/?p=1275#comment-5030 Mary, that's surprising that after so long in the U.S. your dad still has his closest relationships in Chile. Crazy! I've only been in Chile for five years, and without a doubt I can say that I feel the dynamic slowly shifting...and if we stay here long enough I'm sure eventually most of my close relationships will be here. <br><br>Also, I probably shouldn't say this, but even towards people I'm not that sentimental. Most of the time, I feel like, we can have just as meaningful conversations over Skype as we can in real life, and even if I lived in the same city as my mom, I'm not sure we'd even see each other once a week. Would it be nice? Definitely. But in reality, I'm not sure that things would be soooo different than they are now, you know what I mean? Mary, that's surprising that after so long in the U.S. your dad still has his closest relationships in Chile. Crazy! I've only been in Chile for five years, and without a doubt I can say that I feel the dynamic slowly shifting…and if we stay here long enough I'm sure eventually most of my close relationships will be here.

Also, I probably shouldn't say this, but even towards people I'm not that sentimental. Most of the time, I feel like, we can have just as meaningful conversations over Skype as we can in real life, and even if I lived in the same city as my mom, I'm not sure we'd even see each other once a week. Would it be nice? Definitely. But in reality, I'm not sure that things would be soooo different than they are now, you know what I mean?

]]> By: kyleracine http://www.kylehepp.com/2009/11/my-perspective/comment-page-1/#comment-5029 kyleracine Mon, 09 Nov 2009 01:40:54 +0000 http://www.kylehepp.com/?p=1275#comment-5029 I think like with all expats, the place you're from gets so idealized. So I'm sure your dad thinks that moving back to Chile to the campo will be pure heaven, while the reality might be quite different, just like sometimes I think, "Oh this would be so easy in the U.S." about various of my day to day tasks, when really, I have no idea what real life is like there anymore.<br><br>I'm curious Gabriel, with how much time you've spent in Chile now, have you changed how you feel towards being more Chilean, or more Gringo? I think like with all expats, the place you're from gets so idealized. So I'm sure your dad thinks that moving back to Chile to the campo will be pure heaven, while the reality might be quite different, just like sometimes I think, “Oh this would be so easy in the U.S.” about various of my day to day tasks, when really, I have no idea what real life is like there anymore.

I'm curious Gabriel, with how much time you've spent in Chile now, have you changed how you feel towards being more Chilean, or more Gringo?

]]> By: Mary http://www.kylehepp.com/2009/11/my-perspective/comment-page-1/#comment-5027 Mary Mon, 09 Nov 2009 01:24:05 +0000 http://www.kylehepp.com/?p=1275#comment-5027 I get the whole not being very sentimental towards a place--I think I could live a lot of different places, but people are what really keep me tied to one place. More than anything else, it would really disorient me to not be physically fairly close to our families anymore or to not be plugged into the relationships we have here.<br><br>My husband is American-born to Chilean parents and it is interesting to see how his parents relate to Chile, thirtysome years after they left Chile for good. My father-in-law, I think, is still pretty wistful in thinking about Chile even though he really doesn't even have strong family connections there any more except through his wife. His closest relationships, outside of us, do seem to be with people he knew in Chile. If, God forbid, something happened to my mother-in-law, I do think he would move back even though it would put him far away from his children. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, does not have good memories of her childhood and young adulthood in Chile and assimilated quickly. She largely believes that leaving Chile was the best thing that could have happened to her. I don't know that she would consider herself gringa per se, but she's clearly not so much Chilena anymore either. I get the whole not being very sentimental towards a place–I think I could live a lot of different places, but people are what really keep me tied to one place. More than anything else, it would really disorient me to not be physically fairly close to our families anymore or to not be plugged into the relationships we have here.

My husband is American-born to Chilean parents and it is interesting to see how his parents relate to Chile, thirtysome years after they left Chile for good. My father-in-law, I think, is still pretty wistful in thinking about Chile even though he really doesn't even have strong family connections there any more except through his wife. His closest relationships, outside of us, do seem to be with people he knew in Chile. If, God forbid, something happened to my mother-in-law, I do think he would move back even though it would put him far away from his children. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, does not have good memories of her childhood and young adulthood in Chile and assimilated quickly. She largely believes that leaving Chile was the best thing that could have happened to her. I don't know that she would consider herself gringa per se, but she's clearly not so much Chilena anymore either.

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