Kyle Hepp

November 18, 2009

At least 15 people mentioned in the survey that they would like to hear from my husband on occasion. I swear, I’ve been badgering him about this forever, and now that they day is here…I cannot believe he’s having me post something that starts out, “What’s up, fans?” LOL. This isn’t exactly what I’ve had in mind as I’ve asked him over the years to guest post, but I promised him that I wouldn’t alter whatever he wrote, so here it goes. English translation below the Spanish version.

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Que tal fans , mi nombre es Sebastian, tambien conocido como S por estos lados.

Finalmente aqui estoy, despues de practicamente 1 ano de dar la pelea, “voluntariamente accedi,” a participar en el blog y escribir 1 post como invitado. La verdad es que si no lo habia echo antes era en parte de flojo y en parte que mi vida no es tan interesante como para poder escribirlo y que alguien sienta el mas remoto interes en leerlo.

En fin, el otro dia estaba pensando que haria si me ganara el loto (ese dia que sorteaba cerca de 2300 millones). Despues de pasar por todas las cosas tipicas (casa, viajes, autos, computadores, etc) es que se me agotaron las ideas y de repente BAM!! — la idea mas genial que he tenido en mucho tiempo.

Que tal si usara ese dinero para inventar un dispositivo para comunicarse con los perros? Seria increible!
Una de nuestras grandes penas cada vez que viajamos es que no le podemos decir a Papito que vamos a volver, no hay forma de explicarle que vamos 1 semana y volvemos.

Y si pudiera decirle: “Papi, vamos a un viaje cortito, volvemos en 5 dias. Portate bien”
Probablemente Papi me diria: “Ok, no hay problema, traiganme alguna sorpresa y nos vemos a la vuelta.”

Y bueno, de ahi para adelante se me ocurrieron miles de usos para este Nuevo Gran Invento. Asi que decidi hacer un listado mental de los posibles dialogos que tendria con Papi si alguna ves esto se inventa — aqui van algunos:

Papi: Tengo hambre, por que no me echas un poco mas de comida?
S: No Papi, tu comida es mas cara que la mia, asi que vas a comer eso no mas!

Papi: A donde van?
S: A trabajar.
Papi: Puedo ir?
S: No, no tienes terno.

Papi: Hey, estoy aburrida…podemos ir a ver a la Lola?
S: Cagaste papi, ahora nos queda muy lejos
Papi: Me prestas el auto?
S: LOL

Papi: Es hora de levantarse ya? Vamos?
S: No Papi, todavia no, dejame dormir.
Papi: Ya po weon, ‘toy que me meo
S: No Papi, todavia no.
Papi: Te meo, weon.

Ah, seria genial poder comunicarse con Papi. Bueno, esa seria mi inversion si hubiera ganado los 2300 millones de loto. No jugue asi que tendre que seguir preguntandome que es lo que quiere decir Papi cuando mueve la cola o salta arriba mio en las mananas. Quizas es parte de lo encanto de tener un perro — el no poder comunicarse con ellos — asi simplemente queda todo a la imaginacion de cada uno.

Ok, esa fue mi participacion. Esto no es nada seminal ni mensual. Nos veremos el 2010.

Chao

Rough English translation below:

What’s up fans, my name is Sebastian, also known as S. around these parts.

I’m finally here, after practically an entire year of fighting the good fight, “I voluntarily agreed,” to participate in the blog and write 1 guest blog. The truth is that I haven’t written before, in part because of laziness and in part because my life isn’t interesting enough to write about and make anyone feel even remotely interested in reading.

But finally, the other day I was thinking about what I would do if I ever won the lottery (that day the lotto was up to about 5 million dollars). After having thought about all the typical lottery wishes (houses, cars, trips, computers, etc), I ran out of ideas – and then all of a sudden – BAM!! I came up with the greatest idea I’ve had in a long time.

What if I used that money to invent an instrument that would allow us to communicate with dogs? It would be awesome!

One of our biggest sorrows every time we travel is that we can’t tell Papito that we’re coming back. There’s no way for us to explain to her that we’re just leaving for a week and then we’ll return.

If I could say, “Papi, we’re going on a short trip, we’ll be back in 5 days. Be a good girl.”
Papi would probably tell me, “Ok, no problema, bring me back a surprise. See you later!”

And well, from there, I thought of thousands of other uses for this Great New Invention. So I decided to make a mental list of of possible conversations that I could have with Papi. Here are a few:

Papi: I’m hungry, why don’t you give me a little more food?
S: No, Papi, your food is more expensive then mine so that’s all you’re getting!

Papi : Where are you going?
S: To work.
Papi: Can I go?
S: No. You don’t have a suit.

Papi: Hey, I’m bored…can we go see Lola*?
S: You’re screwed Papi, it’s too far for us now**.
Papi : Can I borrow the car?
S : LOL

*Emily’s dog/Papi’s best friend.
**Now that Papi’s life of Perro AVC1 (upper class) is over and we live in Estacion Central, far away from everything.

Papi: Is it time to get up yet? Let’s go!
S: No, Papi, not yet. Let me sleep.
Papi: Come on dude, I’m gonna pee my pants.
S : No, Papi, not yet.
Papi: I’m gonna pee on you man.

Ah, it would be great to be able to communicate with Papi. That would be my investment if I won $5 million dollars playing the lotto. But I didn’t play, so I’ll just have to keep asking myself what Papi is trying to say when she wags her tail or jumps on me in the mornings. Maybe that’s part of the magic of having a dog – not being able to communicate with him/her – that way it’s all left to your imagination.

Ok, that was my participation in this blog. It won’t be anything weekly or even monthly. See you around in 2010.

Bye.

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PS. The original contest winner hadn’t left an email address and she never got in contact, so I just random integer generated another number…64 wins this time around, so congrats to Adina! Email coming your way