Fotografo de Bodas, Santiago

April 19, 2010

This post goes hand in hand with what I wrote the other day — worrying about culture shock in both countries, both homes. This post is about culture shock within a relationship. I’m not talking about big stuff like babies and gender roles and all that really hard stuff. I’m talking about the little things — ie. getting hot and heavy in the Chilean metro, without any grumpy old man yelling gruffly, “HEY! You kids need to get a room!!!” like in the U.S.

And yes, blog readers. I’m switching topics again. I know the focus has been all about wedding photography lately. I also know that there are two distinctly different groups of followers, including one set that wants to read about Chile, not look at pictures of pretty people getting married. For the next couple months I’ll still be posting sessions and weddings as I do them. But, the pace is slowing down. So for better or for worse, you’ll be getting lots more about life in Chile.

Back to the subject at hand — cultural differences.

If I were Dorothy, I wouldn’t be able to click my ruby red slippers because I don’t know where home is or will be. So…there’s no place like with Seba? Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. When talking about where we’ll be in the next 5 or 10 years, the subject of kids always comes up. I feel semi-confident that someday I will have the desire to have kids, even though I’m completely lacking in the maternal department right now. So when we’re discussing, Chile vs. the U.S. vs. Anywhere Else, I can’t help but wonder — how will we teach them?

Kids, especially when they’re little, don’t understand greys. There’s black. Or there’s white. And Seba and I disagree on what’s black and what’s white in a few key areas.

For example — how many continents are there? For real? Because Seba thinks there are 5. Whereas, I, on the other hand, know there are 7. Yes, I’m a fun person to be married to. When I drive, I head check (as in, physically turn my head for a millisecond to glance behind me) my blind spot to make sure I can merge or change lanes. He swears they don’t do that in Chile and that head checking is asking to get into a crash.

And for the real point of contention, I lived my life in Michigan — going outside in grade school after swim class with wet hair, in snowy winters so cold, I could break chunks of my frozen locks off. I would do this while licking icicles, probably made from yellow snow. I did not catch pneumonia or most of the time, even a cold. Whereas Seba and his family swear, for the love of all that is holy, if I go outside without blow drying my hair I will fall ill AND IT WILL BE FATAL. Heaven forbid I’m also barefoot while I have wet air and am outside. That is BEGGING the grim reaper to come impale me with his spear of morbidity — or however he takes the living.

Point being — when we have children, how many continents are there? When they’re learning how to drive, do they head check or not? And if they go outside with wet hair (even in the summer!!!), will they DIE?

Annje, how do you do it? Other Chilean/Gringo peeps — how will you do it?

How much would YOU listen to this guy?

PS. That’s Seba working hard on Andrea’s wedding day. And no, we don’t wear jeans to wedding. She got ready in Santiago then we all drove out to the venue and changed.

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66 Comments

No, lies! I was taught North America is Canada – Panama, South America is everything south of that. But otherwise I agree.

Comment by emilyinchile — April 21, 2010 @ 10:52 pm

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Yo creo que es casi imposible que encontremos a aquella persona que piense exactamente igual a ti en TODO y absolutamente todo, y que no hayan desacuerdos. Entonces… se hacen acuerdos! tendrÃ¡n que tirar una moneda, hacer algÃºn sorteo para saber que enseÃ±arles a sus hijos… llegar al acuerdo que les dirÃ¡n que hay 5 continentes o sortear si es que los dejarÃ¡n o no salir con el pelo mojado en verano (puede ser q en verano si para darte el gusto a ti y en invierno no, para darle tranquilidad a Seba), hay q seder, hay q acordar… sobre todo conversar las cosas

Y me parece gracioso lo del viejito gritando “Hey kids! get a room” jajajaja

Comment by Loquenoves — April 21, 2010 @ 11:19 pm

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He's saying to check with the mirrors instead of your head.

Ahhh, I'm probably like the old lady in your story!

And holy crap, I barely even believe that about your MIL. I have never met a Chilean who doesn't believe in the wet hair rule. I believe it's one of the 11 commandments in the Chilean bible!

Comment by kylehepp — April 22, 2010 @ 5:54 am

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No way! They do that in the U.S. too!?! I've seen SO many photographers in jeans here and I feel like it's disrespectful. I always assumed that was only in Chile. Best was a videographer with jeans and a t-shirt that was literally stained everywhere, had holes all over it and to make matters worse, he was sweating so bad all night he had the worst pit stains!

Comment by kylehepp — April 22, 2010 @ 5:55 am

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I can't even keep track of how many cultures that is mixed in there, Anna. You need to add to it, marry in Spain, hire a North American wedding photographer married to a French-Chilean…and there you have it

Having such a mix of cultures does keep things interesting, that's for sure. And I agree with you — most of the time I don't worry about where home is, but I haven't been in Chile for 10 years yet so maybe then I'll be able to totally stop worrying about it and just be happy to have a solid base here.

Comment by kylehepp — April 22, 2010 @ 5:58 am

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That's exactly what I meant with my “No place like Seba,” comment. I think if you are in constant motion the only way to have any sanity in your life is to have a person or (people) as your patria.

Comment by kylehepp — April 22, 2010 @ 5:59 am

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En ningun lado te encuentras alguien con todas las mismas creencias en todo que ti! Pero a lo que me refiero es mas que no quiero que mi vida entera sea un coin toss cuando se trate de los hijos. Bueno, supongo que todavia no me toca preocupar de eso No faltan unos….25 aÃ±itos

Comment by kylehepp — April 22, 2010 @ 6:00 am

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Jajajaja, en 25 aÃ±os a ambas se nos habrÃ¡ pasado el tren para tener hijos.
No entiendo realmente el tÃ©rmino coin toss… u.u

Comment by Loquenoves — April 22, 2010 @ 6:14 am

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Naaaah, la tecnologia nos salvara si algun dia cambiemos de opinion

Y coin toss es lo que dijiste, lo de tirar una moneda para ver que lado queda por arriba.

Comment by kylehepp — April 22, 2010 @ 6:16 am

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Very well, The Central, North, and South America stuff comes from a gringo friend of mine from Canada, who was raised in the U.S.
My point is, the rule you use to separate the Americas is not used to separate other continents with the same situation, cultural or climate wise.
And, reading MeredithÂ´s and EmilyÂ´s version, I can see one believes North America reaches to Mexico, and the other includes Panama, so it seems to me it isnÂ´t that crystal clear. I respect both opinions, off course, but I kinda like EmilyÂ´s pov. What Meredith calls “Australasia” we know as OceanÃa.
In the spanish spoken world, looks like Antarctica doesnÂ´t exist when we say “five continents”, then, I also agree that the olympic flag is just that, a flag.
So, whereÂ´s America?

Comment by I_Marmo_I — April 22, 2010 @ 4:35 pm

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I think it depends on what your opinion of what a continent is. IÂ´m not so sure how many they are, actually xD

Comment by I_Marmo_I — April 22, 2010 @ 5:20 pm

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Haha yep — OK, apparently this issue goes beyond Chilean/US! Maybe in the past everyone everywhere disagreed on what the continents were. So some social genius said, “OK, everyone in my country, let's just agree on a number and drop it!”

And so we all did…… until now!

Comment by Meredith_H — April 22, 2010 @ 5:43 pm

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Jajajaja =P

Comment by Loquenoves — April 23, 2010 @ 1:50 am

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I love this post. As for the children/culture issue, you would have similar issues if you had married within your own culture. It would be my family did it this way, etc. Compromise on the small things. What is important is that both cultures are represented to your future kids. Where you are living will have a role in the culture you are passing to them…and proximity to in-laws, lol. I am married with 2 kids to a Chilean, we live in the US. BTW, love you photos and your blog.

Comment by HonoraryChilena — June 29, 2010 @ 10:30 pm

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That's true! I guess I don't have kids so I have no experience with this subject either way, I'm just speculating as of right now

You should start a blog, I'd love to hear about Honorary Chilena's perspectives of the U.S.!

Comment by kylehepp — June 30, 2010 @ 12:47 am

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Hmmm, that is an interesting thought – the blog.

Comment by Honorary Chilena — September 3, 2010 @ 5:59 am

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