April 19, 2010
This post goes hand in hand with what I wrote the other day — worrying about culture shock in both countries, both homes. This post is about culture shock within a relationship. I’m not talking about big stuff like babies and gender roles and all that really hard stuff. I’m talking about the little things — ie. getting hot and heavy in the Chilean metro, without any grumpy old man yelling gruffly, “HEY! You kids need to get a room!!!” like in the U.S.
And yes, blog readers. I’m switching topics again. I know the focus has been all about wedding photography lately. I also know that there are two distinctly different groups of followers, including one set that wants to read about Chile, not look at pictures of pretty people getting married. For the next couple months I’ll still be posting sessions and weddings as I do them. But, the pace is slowing down. So for better or for worse, you’ll be getting lots more about life in Chile.
Back to the subject at hand — cultural differences.
If I were Dorothy, I wouldn’t be able to click my ruby red slippers because I don’t know where home is or will be. So…there’s no place like with Seba? Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. When talking about where we’ll be in the next 5 or 10 years, the subject of kids always comes up. I feel semi-confident that someday I will have the desire to have kids, even though I’m completely lacking in the maternal department right now. So when we’re discussing, Chile vs. the U.S. vs. Anywhere Else, I can’t help but wonder — how will we teach them?
Kids, especially when they’re little, don’t understand greys. There’s black. Or there’s white. And Seba and I disagree on what’s black and what’s white in a few key areas.
For example — how many continents are there? For real? Because Seba thinks there are 5. Whereas, I, on the other hand, know there are 7. Yes, I’m a fun person to be married to. When I drive, I head check (as in, physically turn my head for a millisecond to glance behind me) my blind spot to make sure I can merge or change lanes. He swears they don’t do that in Chile and that head checking is asking to get into a crash.
And for the real point of contention, I lived my life in Michigan — going outside in grade school after swim class with wet hair, in snowy winters so cold, I could break chunks of my frozen locks off. I would do this while licking icicles, probably made from yellow snow. I did not catch pneumonia or most of the time, even a cold. Whereas Seba and his family swear, for the love of all that is holy, if I go outside without blow drying my hair I will fall ill AND IT WILL BE FATAL. Heaven forbid I’m also barefoot while I have wet air and am outside. That is BEGGING the grim reaper to come impale me with his spear of morbidity — or however he takes the living.
Point being — when we have children, how many continents are there? When they’re learning how to drive, do they head check or not? And if they go outside with wet hair (even in the summer!!!), will they DIE?
Annje, how do you do it? Other Chilean/Gringo peeps — how will you do it?
How much would YOU listen to this guy?
PS. That’s Seba working hard on Andrea’s wedding day. And no, we don’t wear jeans to wedding. She got ready in Santiago then we all drove out to the venue and changed.
April 18, 2010
Andrea is one of my best friends in Chile. But things haven’t been this way for long. Less than a year ago I got an email telling me she had found my blog and simultaneously asking if I would photograph her wedding/go to coffee when she arrived in Chile to start a new life. She also emailed our friend Katina asking the same thing (minus the wedding photography part). Katina, not used to meeting strangers all the time from her blog like me, asked if I thought we should meet up with her. My response? What the hell? She seems normal enough.
Andrea es una de mis mejores amigas en Chile. Pero las cosas no han sido asi desde siempre. Hace menos de un ano atras recibi un email diciendome que habia encontrado mi blog y simultaneamente preguntando si fotografiaria su boda / tomaria cafe cuando ella llegara a Chile para empezar una nueva vida. Ella tambien le mando un email a nuestra amiga Katina preguntando lo mismo (menos la parte de fotografiar el matrimonio). Katina, no acostumbrada a conocer extranos todo el tiempo a traves de su blog como yo, pregunto si yo pensaba que deberiamos juntarnos con ella. Mi respuesta? “Por que no? Parece lo suficientemente normal”
Well, I ended up being out of the country by the time Andrea set foot in Chile and so Katina met her first, but I think I can speak for all of our friends when I say — we’re so happy that she came into our life, via blog or otherwise
More than just normal enough, Andrea has a huge heart. You meet up for coffee with her and she doesn’t just talk about herself she wants to know what you’re doing, how you are. And unlike a lot of people, she genuinely cares about your answers. Every time I get an email from her, I feel so special and loved because it always starts out, Hi muffin! or How are you, pookie?
And Gonzalo, he’s the guy who has it all smart, incredibly driven, a fantastic dad, good looking, kind but wasn’t truly complete until he met Andrea. It sounds cheesy but it’s true.
Bueno, resulto que estaba fuera del pais en el momento en que Andrea llego a Chile asi que Katina la conocio primero., pero creo que puedo hablar por todos nuestros amigos cuando digo – estamos tan feliz de que llego a nuestras vidas, via blog o como sea.
Mas que “suficientemente normal”, Andrea tiene un gran corazon. Te juntas a tomar cafe con ella y no solo habla de ella — sino que quiere saber que haces, como estas. No como mucha gente, ella se interesa genuinamente por tus respuestas. Cada vez que recibo un email de ella. me siento tan especial y querida por que siempre empieza con, “Hi Muffin” o “Como estas Pookie”?
Andrea is big on Twitter and Facebook. No, she didn’t tweet from the altar like this guy, but she did blog the morning of her wedding day.
Andrea es fanatica de Twiter y Facebook. No Twiteo desde el altar como este tipo, pero si blogeo la manana del dia de su matrimonio.
Who can tell what’s in the foreground of this picture?
Quien puede decir que es lo que hay en el primer plano de esta foto?
One of my favorite dress pictures EVER.
Una de mis fotos de vestido favoritas.
Andrea waited for her man to come see her for the first time in all her bridal glory. I should mention that I’m borderline obsessed with this picture. So simple. But so much emotion. I look at this shot and I can feel that she’s waiting. I can feel that she’s a little nervous. I can feel that she’s excited. Love. Everything. About. It.
Andrea espero por su hombre que la viniera a ver por primera ves en su esplendor de novia. Deberia mencionar que estoy mas o menos obsesionada con esta foto. Tan simple. Pero tanta emocion. Veo esta foto y puedo sentir que ella esta esperando. Puedo sentir que esta un poco nerviosa. Puedo sentir que esta emocionada. Me encanta todo al respecto.
Stunning.
Bellisima.
Here’s how she passed the time waiting 
Aqui esta como pasaba el tiempo esperando
He’s smoldering at the camera. Loves.
Gonzalo se veia super guapo mirando tan intensamente a la camara.
These are called — baller shoes.
Esto se llama zapatos de baller.
I know a photographer shouldn’t be in the actual photos. But I love this moment that Seba grabbed of Andrea reacting to my camera and Gonzalo completely not reacting!
Se que un fotografo no deberia salir en las fotos. Pero me encanta este momento que Seba capturo de Andrea reaccionando a mi camara y Gonzalo completamente no reaccionando!
I’ve had this idea in my head for some time now. However, I figured most brides wouldn’t be thrilled about the idea of chucking their bouquet at my head. Then again, most brides don’t want to throw their bouquet out the window either (FYI she used Aquantarus under the W in el Golf neighborhood. I would highly not recommend them). I’m glad she did though because J’ADORE this picture!!!!! Times a thousand!!!
He tenido esta idea en mi cabeza desdehace algun tiempo. Sin embargo, deduje que muchas novias no estarian emocionadas por lanzar su ramo a mi cabeza.. La mayoria de las novias no quieren tirar su ramo por la ventana tampoco (Para su informacion, ella uso Aquantarus bajo el hotel W en el barrio el Golf. Definitivamente no se los recomendaria) Estoy agradecida de que ella si queria por que me encanta esta foto. Mil veces!!!
We left and Seba said, “Fue choro que se rieron todo el rato,” or “It was cool that they laughed the entire time.” They did and it was. They both cracked up numerous times during the ceremony, so did the audience. I love that — a wedding that can be perfectly imperfect every step of the way.
Nos fuimos y Seba dijo, “Fue choro que se rieron todo el rato”. Y fue. Los dos se rieron muchas veces durante la ceremonia, los invitados tambien. Me encanta eso — un matrimonio que puede ser perfectamente imperfecta cada paso del camino.
See? Even when he’s crying, he’s laughing.
Ven? Incluso cuando el esta llorando, ella se esta riendo
And here’s little Miss Andrea “I won’t cry during my wedding” Gonzalez. Ha! In case you’re wondering, Gonzalo organized and put together a video from her friends in the States who couldn’t make it.
Y aqui esta la pequena Miss Andrea “No voy a llorar en mi matrimonio” Gonzalez. Ha. En caso de que se esten preguntando, Gonzalo organizo un video de sus amigas en los Estados Unidos que no pudieron venir.
They danced.
Bailaron
And got crazy.
Y se volvieron locos
April 15, 2010
This year we’ll be spending a lot of time in the U.S. — about 5 months total. This is the most time that I’ve spent in my home country since 2006 when I was back in Florida for 8 or 9 months to finish my degree. Yay for spending ridiculous amounts of money on a Bachelor of Arts in Spanish and a Bachelor of Science in Sports Management! Both have proved to be SO useful in starting this photography business. Ha.
Anyway. Since then, the longest I’ve been in the U.S. at once has never amounted to much more than one month at a time. Even this year, our time is still divided up — a month in May to photograph what is sure to be an amazing wedding in NYC. Then we’ll be back from the end of July-mid October, in part to escape the horrendous, depressing winter months here. But mostly to shoot more weddings, including the winner of the free wedding photography contest, in NYC! I’m really pumped for all our U.S. weddings because A. I don’t know many of our clients well and I’d like to. And B. U.S. weddings are a whole different ballgame than Chilean weddings.
But what I’ve really been wondering about is whether or not spending so much time in the U.S. will make me want to move back? Or will it make me even happier to be living in Chile? The differences between the countries are endless. But you get into a rhythm no matter where you are, that fits with the vibe of the place you’re in. I’ve finally gotten into a rhythm with Chile. And it only took me a little over 3 years.
Going back and forth between both countries has it’s benefits. We are able to spend time with both our families, we get to work in two different countries (actually three this year, we’re also shooting a wedding in Spain!) which means that I never feel bored or stagnant. However, I worry that being a couple months here, a couple months there means we won’t hit a rhythm in either country. It’s a little unsettling to feel like your home is always moving. I am hoping that having a place we can call our own here (yes, we finally have a way to buy our apartment, even though the banks hate us) will help me feel a little more stable.
I wonder about the reverse culture shock too. Will I be going back and forth from a state of reverse culture shock in one place to a state of reverse culture shock in another? And then again and again? Will I leave the U.S. only to come back Chile and wonder why there are no screens on the windows? Why there are couples dry humping in the park? Why running the simplest errand can take hours? And on and on and on, with all the things that used to shock me here. Will I leave Chile to go to the U.S. and be dumbfounded by early gringo lunches and dinners and small talk? While there’s certainly value in going out of your comfort zone, a thrill that most expats seek, I most certainly don’t want to feel out of my element all the time. I don’t like feeling discombobulated (which just happens to be my favorite word ever, by the way).
I think next year we’re may try and do a visa for Seba so that we can just stay six months in the U.S. and then come back for six months here. That’s also so that we can take Papi with us because I absolutely hate being without her. But if we get the visa, then what? How do we work that? Buy a car for the U.S. to use half the year? Rent our apartment here for half the year? I like the nomadic lifestyle, but I’d be lying if I said I weren’t a little nervous about trying to work out the logistics.
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